UK Ponders: Return Bitcoin Windfall to Victims or Keep It All? 😏💰

by

Now, mark my words, the United Kingdom’s officials are pondering a quandary that’d make a cat chase its tail: whether to hand over the tidy sum o’ billions from some seized Bitcoin-or keep it all for themselves, like a miser with a heart of stone and a wallet full of digital gold. Per the Financial Times, they’re debating whether to give victims the original 640 million pounds they lost or keep the entire $7.24 billion windfall, as if the Treasury needed a reason to hold onto a treasure trove bigger than King Solomon’s chest. 🏦✨

The 61,000 Bitcoin in question, now worth more than a dozen luxury yachts and a side of moon rocks, was snatched from some enterprising crooks in 2018. These villains, bless their little fraud hearts, had swindled 128,000 Chinese investors outta their life savings. Now, the UK’s Treasury is whispering behind closed doors, “What if we squirrel this cash away to plug our budget hole?”-as if the British taxpayer ain’t already subsidizing the Royal Family’s tea parties. 🫖👑

Largest crypto seizure in history

The crooks in question? A pair of international rogues named Zhimin Qian and Seng Hok Ling, who looked up “how to scam 128,000 people” in the dark corners of the internet and said, “Why not?” After fleecing their victims between 2014 and 2017, they stashed the loot in Bitcoin and fled China like digital Houdinis. The police, ever the clever sorts, tracked them down in 2018 and nabbed ’em in 2024, seizing encrypted devices, cash, and enough gold to make Scrooge McDuck faint. 🧾💎

Qian, the ringleader, tried to launder her ill-gotten gains by buying property-a bold move, considering she probably couldn’t even spell “mortgage.” The police, ever watchful, tailed her accomplice and made the arrest. Now, the courts are squabbling over whether to return the money or let the Treasury keep it. Some say it’ll spark a legal tussle longer than a Sunday sermon. Others say, “Let’s just throw it into the Thames and call it a day.” 🛑💸

The latest in many crypto seizures

This ain’t the first time law enforcement’s gone on a crypto shopping spree. Last month, Canadian cops seized $40 million from TradeOgre, much to the dismay of critics who said it was like “robbing the bank to pay the bank.” In August, the US Justice Department grabbed $2.8 million from a ransomware operator, while the Secret Service tallied $400 million in digital assets over ten years. And Sweden’s justice minister? He’s all, “Let’s crack down harder and find more crypto!” as if the Swedish taxpayers ain’t already footing the bill. 🕵️♂️🔐

Even Coinbase, the crypto exchange, helped the US Secret Service nab $225 million in stolen coins. Seems like everyone’s in on the game now, from the Treasury to the Thames. Just don’t ask the victims if they’d prefer their money back or a thank-you note written in Bitcoin. 📜₿

Read More

2025-10-02 14:01