Two Stocks? Fine. Let’s Talk.

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Right, so you’ve got two grand burning a hole in your pocket. Good. Don’t spend it on shoes. Seriously. Investing, though? That’s a slightly less disastrous impulse. Look, I’m not going to pretend I’m some financial guru. I mostly just stare at charts and pretend to understand what ‘volatility’ actually feels like. But, even I can see that chucking your money at strong businesses – the ones that actually, you know, make things people want – is a decent strategy. Especially if they’re busy future-proofing themselves with all this AI nonsense. It’s either the next big thing or a very expensive paperweight. We’ll see.

I’ve been eyeing two in particular: Microsoft (MSFT +2.23%) and Alphabet (GOOG +0.40%) (GOOGL +0.40%). They’re, like, everywhere. Billions of people are using their stuff daily. Which means, shockingly, they’re making a bit of money. And they’re smart enough to reinvest it. Which, frankly, is more than I can say for most people I know.

Microsoft

Okay, Microsoft. Not exactly a thrilling pick, is it? But boring can be good. Especially when it’s backed by a frankly terrifying amount of innovation. They’ve got 900 million people fiddling with AI features across their products. Nine. Hundred. Million. That’s a lot of people letting a computer try to write their emails. It’s either genius or the beginning of the end. I’m leaning towards genius, mostly because I’m terrified of the alternative.

People are actually paying for the AI stuff in Microsoft 365. Copilot, their AI assistant, has 150 million monthly active users. 150 million! That means they’re willing to shell out more money for slightly better software. Which is… disturbing. But also, good for Microsoft. Higher revenue per user? That’s what investors like to see. It suggests they’re not just giving it away. They’re actually making a profit. Shocking, I know.

Revenue from Microsoft 365 grew 17% year over year. And they’ve got a whopping $400 billion in future commitments for their Azure cloud business. That’s… a lot of zeros. I’m starting to feel inadequate. They’re spending aggressively on AI infrastructure, which, let’s be honest, is probably just a fancy way of saying they’re building a giant server farm. But if it works, it’ll be worth it. They’ll make even more money. And I’ll continue to feel inadequate.

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Over the last five years, Microsoft’s net income has nearly doubled to $105 billion. It’s a solid, dependable company. Not exactly a wild ride, but sometimes, you just want something that won’t give you a heart attack. And honestly, after staring at these charts all day, I need a lie-down.

Alphabet (Google)

Right, Google. The company that knows too much. Two billion users across Search, Gmail, and YouTube. It’s unsettling, frankly. But also, incredibly lucrative. More users mean more relevant ads. More relevant ads mean more revenue. It’s a vicious, beautiful cycle. I’m starting to feel like I’m in a conspiracy theory.

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Since releasing AI features in Search, people are asking more questions. More questions mean more opportunities to show ads. Ad revenue grew 14% year over year. That’s an improvement. It’s not exactly groundbreaking, but it’s a step in the right direction. And honestly, after everything, it’s a relief.

Revenue from Search and other services is improving, which means they’re holding their own against all the new AI chatbots. Strong advertising growth is boosting profitability. Alphabet’s net income has more than doubled to $124 billion over the last three years. It’s obscene, really. But I’m not complaining.

Ad spending can slow during a recession – they experienced that in 2022. But the digital advertising market is expected to double to $1.1 trillion by 2030. That’s… a lot of money. And Google, with all its AI capabilities, is well-positioned to capture a significant chunk of it. Which, let’s be honest, is probably terrifying for everyone else. But good for Google. And, ultimately, good for my portfolio. Maybe.

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2026-01-28 01:02