Imagine you’re staring at your brokerage account, feeling equal parts hope and low-grade existential dread. Investing, they say, is a long game; but “long” is such an elastic word, isn’t it? Some of us can barely commit to a gym class, yet here we are trying to buy stocks we ought to hold for five years. That’s practically marriage, minus the wedding cake and the dance floor anxiety.
So, what if you’ve got cash sitting in your account, whispering sweet financial nothings (“You’ve probably already missed Nvidia,” etc.)? It helps to have a shortlist—the kind of stocks you buy and then immediately fantasise about never checking again, just… holding. Which sounds simple, but is actually an exercise in willpower that could flummox a monk. Anyway, let’s peel back the curtain on two monsters I’d consider shackling myself to for the next half-decade, in that stubborn, resentful trader way.
1. Intuitive Surgical
Confession: I have a thing for moats. Economic moats, not the crocodile kind (though honestly, both are equally compelling from an investing standpoint). And Intuitive Surgical (ISRG)? They’re the castle, the moat, and probably the village idiot who’s trying to work out how to swim across.
They’ve been selling the da Vinci system since the late 90s—back before robots in the medical field were more than sci-fi fodder and everyone still thought Clippy was helpful. Now, they’re in bladder, womb, abdominal cavity, and sometimes the hearts of patients who probably didn’t expect to meet a robot on the way to the hospital.
Intuitive doesn’t just sell hardware; no, that would be too basic. They play the classic “razor-and-blades” game. Buy the dazzling system (the “razor”), then spend eternity buying its accessories (the “blades”), which, frankly, should come with a warning: “Side effects may include recurring revenue and mild feelings of helpless addiction.” Even their service contracts are irresistible. As a trader, I see “recurring revenue” and my heart flutters—because consistency, however illusory, is sexier than spontaneity in this business.
Their Q2? $2.4 billion up 21%—not bad for a company that already dominates its niche. Instruments and accessories are the real cash cows ($1.47 billion), with the systems and services content to play supporting roles. Ten thousand da Vinci systems installed worldwide—tell me they’re not setting up world domination in the least villainous way possible.
Still, if you’re anxious about buying in right now, what with a price-to-earnings ratio hovering at 70—well, welcome to the club. I lose sleep over valuation, too. But surgical robots aren’t exactly household appliances yet, so there’s runway. Would I buy at this price? Perhaps with one eye open and the other on the “Sell” button, but five years is a long time, and history’s on their side (119% earnings growth over five years is enough to make my therapist nod encouragingly).
2. Dutch Bros
Here’s a thing nobody tells you: in the caffeine arms race, charm counts. Dutch Bros (BROS) is the quirky extrovert at the parade of coffee chains—no fuss, all drive-thru, caffeinated with the sort of reckless optimism my own portfolio could use.
Started out with a pushcart in Oregon, now aiming for 7,000 locations. Am I jealous? Only a little. They keep overheads low, move fast, barely pause to spell macchiato. Their customers, meanwhile, stay as loyal as a border collie and probably spend as much time at drive-thru windows.
Numbers time: Q1 2025, revenue soared 29% to $355.2 million. Net income leapt 39%. They opened 30 new shops in three months because why not, and same-store sales? Up. Yes, they entered the era of mobile ordering in 2024, which feels late but endearingly on-brand for a company that seems to run on Red Bull and audacity.
As a trader, here’s what matters: consistent, caffeinated growth. They’re rolling out stores faster than you can pronounce “espresso,” and they’re profitable in an industry where breaking even is often considered cute. Think of it as buying into the upside of habit, with a dash of cult following thrown in.
If you’re after exposure to restaurants but want your money somewhere that feels alive—not mechanically churning out the same scones—Dutch Bros is at least worth a lingering look. And possibly an anxious, late-night text.
So, yes, both of these are untamed creatures, but if you’re comfortable with commitment issues and the occasional bout of investor’s remorse, they just might be the only “monsters” you want to wake up next to in five years’ time.
(And if it all collapses, at least you can say, with a straight face, “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”) 🦄
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2025-08-02 16:58