Twain’s Crypto Stocks: Boom or Bust Shenanigans?

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Ah, the grand ol’ crypto market today is about as exciting as watching paint dry on a rainy day—most digital currencies are either snoozing or sinking, with investor enthusiasm colder than a witch’s kiss. 😴💸

While everyone’s gawking at altcoins and Bitcoin‘s flop sweat from not holding its gains, a few U.S. crypto stocks are putting on a show that’s worth a chuckle or two.

TeraWulf Inc. (WULF)

TeraWulf shares decided to perk up yesterday after the company finally got around to announcing their Q2 2025 earnings call date—like they were doing us a favor. 😂 In their July 24 press release, these Bitcoin mining wizards said it’d be on August 8. Must’ve been a slow news day, huh? That little nugget pushed the stock up 2.31%.

Come pre-market today, WULF’s lounging at $5.16. If the bulls get frisky when trading kicks off, it might charge toward $5.68—fingers crossed it’s not just hot air. But if the bears wake up grumpy, poof, it could tumble below $4.83 faster than a bad joke. 😉

Bitdeer Technologies Group (BTDR)

BTDR wrapped up the last session at $15.16, up 2.78%, thanks to some big-shot investors flexing their muscles. A recent SEC filing shows 1492 Capital Management LLC jacked up their stake by 82.7% in Q1, snagging 26,042 more shares for a total of 57,539. Now they own a whopping 0.05%—bet they’re feeling like kings of the hill with that $508,000 valuation. Regal, ain’t it? 👑

In today’s pre-market, it’s dipped a tad to $14.72. If the buying frenzy reignites at open, it could scamper up to $15.63. Otherwise, it might nosedive to $14.01—classic crypto rollercoaster, always keeping you on your toes. 🎢

RYVYL Inc. (RVYL)

RYVYL’s shares jumped 2.86% to $0.33 on Thursday, all abuzz because some Luxembourg fund called S8 Global Fintech & Regtech decided to grab a 10% stake. As of July 21, 2025, they’re sitting pretty with 3.6 million shares, crowning themselves the biggest shareholder. How generous of them to join the party—must be a real confidence booster, or maybe they’re just lost. 🤷‍♂️

Pre-market today, it’s tickling $0.32. If the momentum doesn’t fizzle out post-open, it might strut up to $0.35. But let’s be real, if the hype dies quicker than a campfire in a downpour, it could slump to $0.30. Ah, the glamorous life of penny stocks! 😏

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2025-07-25 17:51