Trump’s Tariff Temptation: Will Crypto Collapse in Eternal Comedy?

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Markets, those glossy, capricious automata of belief, recoiled, as if the morning news were a poorly written comedy caught in a bad set‑up, when Donald Trump unfurled his tariff manifesto, promising a sweeping 15% global duty that could as easily be a joke in a finance‑beast moral treatise.

Investors, the wayward philosophers of the financial realm, now clutch their coffee like a savant clutching a notebook, worried that this new policy might tighten the bank‑run steam engine of global trade and, in a conveniently ironic twist, slow the very crypto coins they once championed as the digital prophets of freedom.

In the eloquent whisper of risk assets, the crypto world groans-a sound like a well‑played chord in a bad operetta. Yet, traders look at the tariff buzz like an audience peering at the stage lights, wondering whether the policy will be a vaporous illusion or a hard‑hitting diminuendo over the next few weeks.

So let us sit, dear readers, and indulge in this spectacle of economic theatrics, for the only certainty is that the market will continue to delight us with its ability to turn a tariff into a comedy act while we, the spectators, keep asking: when will the crypto clown balance the scales of this financial circus?

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2026-02-23 09:47