So picture this: it’s 2:59 PM. You’re holding your crypto like a nervous first-time parent at a fireworks show. Suddenly, some crypto whale-probably wearing a bathrobe and smoking a cigar in a Lamborghini garage-decides to short $412 million of the market. And not just any moment: right before Trump’s “huge” announcement. Because of course. Why wouldn’t someone with a 100% win rate and zero chill time their moves with the subtlety of a car alarm? 🚗💨
Enter @DeFiWilmar, the on-chain detective who’s basically Sherlock Holmes if Sherlock wore Crocs and yelled “INSIDER TRADING!” every 10 minutes. 🕵️♂️ He noticed this whale pulled the same stunt two months ago, made $300 million, and now we’re all just… waiting to see if our portfolios turn into digital confetti. 🎉
🚨 BREAKING: THE 100% WINRATE GUY IS SHORTING THE MARKET AGAIN
HE’S NEVER WRONG??
WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?!?! 🙏💸
– Wimar.X (@DefiWimar) October 23, 2025
“The 100% win-rate insider is shorting the entire market,” Wilmar gasped on X, like a man who just discovered water is wet. Then he updated the number to $412 million because accuracy is key when you’re screaming into the void. 🗣️
🚨 BREAKING: TRUMP’S ANNOUNCEMENT + WHALE’S $410M SHORT
COULD THIS BE… INSIDER TRADING?!?!
THEY’RE PLAYING 4D CHESS, PEOPLE! 🎩♟️
– Wimar.X (@DefiWimar) October 23, 2025
Of course, the internet immediately lost its mind. “He’s an insider!” they scream, while others whisper, “He’s a time traveler!” Meanwhile, the whale’s probably just some guy who Googled “how to ruin crypto investors’ day” and followed the steps. 🧑💻
Identity? Unknown. Venue? Unconfirmed. Motive? Probably just vibes. 🕶️ But here we are, once again wondering if crypto’s the Wild West or just a really chaotic poker game where the dealer’s hiding Trump’s speech notes in their hat. 🎩🃏
And remember: Binance just fired someone for front-running like three months ago. So yeah, everything’s fine. Totally regulated. No cowboys here, just tumbleweeds and people yelling “SECURE MY BAG!” into the void. 🌵
Conclusion? Either this whale’s the real-life Joker, or we’re all just extras in a sitcom where the punchline is “you should’ve HODL’d.” 🤷♂️
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2025-10-23 18:27