Trump, XRP, and the Crypto Shenanigans ETF You Never Knew You Needed

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In the vast and bewildering cosmos of cryptocurrency, where blockchain technology meanders with all the purposefulness of a heavily caffeinated pigeon, Grayscale has taken it upon itself to file something called an S3 registration statement. Now, for those unfamiliar, this is not the name of a particularly groovy sports car but an arcane document designed to create an Exchange-Traded Fund (ETF). You know, the sort of thing that lets people stare at numbers on graphs while pretending they understand what’s going on. 🚀

This ETF promises to be as diverse as the flavors in a dubious vending machine soda: it includes Ethereum (ETH), Solana (SOL), Cardano (ADA), and even XRP—a cryptocurrency so divisive it could split dinner parties faster than politics. Naturally, this entire endeavor rests on the watchful gaze of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), because what’s a good cosmic drama without at least one group of serious people pretending to keep order? ⚖

Speaking of drama, NYSE Arca decided to pile onto the excitement on October 15, 2024, by saying, “You know what? This ETF needs shares to list!” And thus, they submitted Form 19b-4, which is essentially a sophisticated “May I?” letter to the SEC. In true bureaucratic fashion, the SEC has spun the suspense into a two-act play: Act 1—Initial Decision: May 3, Act 2—Final Ruling: July 2. Why simple timelines when you can milk the suspense? 🍿

“This is another important step toward uplisting GDLC as an ETP!” exclaimed Grayscale on X (which, for the record, is no longer the symbol for expensive dark sunglasses but rather the name of that thing you used to call Twitter). Apparently, GDLC is like Noah’s Ark for cryptocurrencies: it holds the top 5 by market cap, because clearly the world didn’t need another “top 5” list. 📜

Today we filed a registration statement on Form S-3 to register shares of Grayscale Digital Large Cap Fund (ticker: $GDLC) under the Securities Act of 1933. This is another important step toward uplisting GDLC as an ETP. GDLC holds the top 5 crypto assets by market cap, #bitcoin…

— Grayscale (@Grayscale) April 1, 2025

What’s perhaps most intriguing—and by “intriguing,” I mean “eye-roll worthy”—is the fact that the GDLC portfolio includes assets formerly name-dropped by none other than Donald Trump himself. Yes, the man whose opinions come with the subtlety of an exploding star once suggested a “digital asset stockpile,” which sounds suspiciously like the plot of a Bond film starring Bitcoin as the villain. 🤔

In fairness, Grayscale’s intention here isn’t to mimic Bond villains or caffeinated pigeons. The company’s plan is much simpler: convince both investment newbies and professionals alike to dive into the crypto pool without worrying about whether they’ll accidentally grab a jellyfish instead of Bitcoin. It’s index ETFs for the crypto crowd—a way to sprinkle diversification like salt and hope that you don’t end up eating cardboard. And let’s face it—any idea that keeps retail investors from buying Dogecoin on impulse is worth a shot. 💡

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2025-04-02 06:52