This Man’s Bitcoin Refuses to Budge at $100K, and You’ll Cry When You Hear Why 😱

by

There, beneath the cold, bluish glow of his screen—a hopeless sentinel—Aleksei Ivanovich gazed at the price: $97,005. Unmoved. Unchanged. A grim facsimile of life, drifting sideways week after week. In his younger, more foolish hours, Aleksei had been promised drama, price swings, fortunes that would rise or fall at the faintest whiff of news. Now, 2.6% in a week—3.3% in a day!—and who among men can live off such meager thrill? The market had become a Dostoevskian purgatory, and he its contemplating prisoner.

But what is this? Whispered rumors within the ether: on-chain this, on-chain that—a “steady rise” in investor activity, heralded by our good Carmelo Alemán, a name as weighty as a fur-lined winter coat. For the third time (ah, the number three, biblical and mathematical), Bitcoin’s Realized Cap scales heights never before seen. The crowd gasps, or pretends to. $890.7 billion! Aleksei furrows his brow and wonders if Kafka had a price target for existential validation. 🤔

Ah, but let us not be deceived by these numbers, each UTXO multiplied by dreams and despair! There is “growing capital inflow” they say, as if money itself were a warm stream, easing the pain of existence. Holders—those who cling for decades, and those who panic-buy during lunch—both flock to the chorus of accumulation, closing their eyes and believing, desperately, in future glory. Perhaps all this “conviction” is little more than the last refuge of a speculator on a losing streak?

Look how the analysts squabble atop their citadel of metrics. The bullish say: Bitcoin’s Realized Cap grows, so too must our faith! If only Raskolnikov had access to such charts, he’d never have gone through with the axe.

Meanwhile, the cynical Americans—brooding, melancholy—cast their shadow via the Coinbase Premium Gap. Abramchart (who surely must have known misery in a past life) points to the damning number: -5.07. On Coinbase, America’s great contribution to global anxiety, Bitcoin trades cheaper than abroad. The gap gapes wider: a mirror for national malaise. “Selling pressure,” say the learned; “lack of faith,” mutter the unlearned. All the while, the price sits, unmoved, clutching its existential headache like a Russian bureaucrat faced with paperwork.

And so here we find ourselves: bullish capital inflow jostling against regional malaise, market trends poised on the knife-edge between euphoria and the void. Will the price ever reach $100,000? Or is this, like the rest of modern life, merely a test of how long one can bear to wait? If Sisyphus were alive, he’d be day-trading BTC. At least he’d understand the futility—perhaps even smile at it. 😏


Read More

2025-05-08 10:31