This Guy Hacked the SEC’s X Account—Guess What He Asked for in Court?

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In the grand cosmic ballet of bureaucracy, hackers, and people named Eric who perhaps should have stuck to crossword puzzles, the SEC X account hack has shimmied awkwardly to its final act. US prosecutors, wielding the dazzling force of legal jargon and the distinctly American penchant for sentencing recommendations, have calmly but firmly suggested that Eric Council Jr. should spend 2 years contemplating his life choices in a location with considerably less Wi-Fi.

Prosecutors Demand Council Jr. Explore the Penal System for Two Years 🚔

Somewhere in the legal underworld, a court filing tumbled out from a dense forest of paperwork, declaring that Judge Amy Berman should hand Eric Council Jr.—hacker of the previously unhackable SEC X account—an extended vacation with very strict room service. The prosecutors, who clearly spent all night reading The Big Book of Stern Warnings, emphasized that Council’s “sophisticated fraud scheme” deserves a “significant penalty.” (Translation: “Nice SIM swap, but now, off you go!”)

Council’s masterstroke of criminal ingenuity involved creating ID documents of questionable authenticity and fibbing with the earnestness of someone who has spent too much time on the internet. The group’s pièce de résistance? On January 9, 2024, a spicy little post on the SEC’s account announced (falsely, but with tremendous gusto) that spot Bitcoin ETFs had been approved. Chaos reigned, Bitcoin soared, and official faces everywhere adopted their best “I’m not mad, just disappointed” expressions as they yanked the post offline and sheepishly admitted, “OK, that wasn’t us.”

The show officially began in October 2024 when US prosecutors dusted off their capes and indicted Council Jr. for conspiracy to commit aggravated identity theft and access device fraud—a fancy way of saying, “You did a bad, high-tech thing.” Council, hailing from the fine state of Alabama, pleaded guilty earlier this year, presumably after realizing that you can’t just Ctrl+Z a federal indictment.

Defense Argues for Lighter Sentence, Appeals to Judge’s Inner Softie 🤞

Clutching the legal equivalent of a permission slip, Council’s lawyers have filed a memo suggesting that two years behind bars is best reserved for people who don’t return library books. Instead, they asked for a “maximum of one year and one day,” hoping to shave some time off for good behavior (or at least a plausible excuse). Their argument: a sentence of twelve months and a day is just the right amount to promote justice, deterrence, and presumably to give Eric a stern talking-to about password hygiene.

If you’ve ever wanted to watch high-stakes plea bargaining that reads like a polite argument at a PTA meeting, mark your calendar for May 16—the sentencing day, when Eric Council Jr. will find out whether he gets the full tour of the correctional system, or just the express package.

Let’s not glaze over the fact that this all unfolded under the watchful eye of the infamously regulation-happy Gensler administration, who tackled crypto like a toddler with a toy hammer (lots of noise, not much finesse). Now the SEC has new leadership. Paul Atkins, who has promised to make the US “the crypto capital of the world,” presumably somewhere between Silicon Valley and an alternate universe where regulation involves more friendly waving and fewer subpoenas.

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2025-05-13 20:43