They Spent *How Much* on Digital Tokens?! 💸

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So, Mill City, having recently stumbled upon a rather… generous $450 million (one wonders where these sums originate, doesn’t one?), have decided to invest nearly all of it into these… “blockchain” things. A treasury, they call it. As if a locked box makes it all seem terribly responsible. Honestly, you’d think they’d buy a nice country estate. But no, blockchains it is.

They’ve procured, shall we say, a *significant* pile – 76 million, precisely – of these “SUI” tokens directly from the, ahem, Sui Foundation. For $3.64 a pop. A bargain, I’m sure. They assure us this is just the beginning. A grand accumulation, they proclaim. As if anyone truly understands what’s being accumulated, or *why*. And they are quite proud to be the only officially sanctioned treasury program, which feels… special, in a rather pathetic way. 🤔

The funding gala was attended by all the usual suspects, the giants of this modern financial world: Galaxy Digital, Pantera Capital—names that inspire such confidence, don’t they? Electric Capital, M2, GSR, and, rather mysteriously, “Big Brain Holdings.” One imagines a room full of very serious people nodding sagely.

Mr. Novogratz of Galaxy (a man who clearly understands the nuances of…well, something) offered that this move allows investors to “tap into institutional-grade access.” Of course. Because that’s what everyone needs. And it’s a bet on Sui. Apparently, blockchains require bets now. 🤷

This Sui… it was crafted by the folks at Mysten Labs, using a language born from the minds of former Meta engineers. Scalable, they say. Developer-friendly. One pictures contented developers sipping tea, happily building… something. It remains to be seen if it will actually compete. Most things don’t, you know.

Mill City, in their infinite wisdom, believe Sui is the future. A long-term gamble. I suppose it’s as good a way to spend $450 million as any. One can only hope it doesn’t end in tears. ☕ Or, more likely, a quiet restructuring.

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2025-08-01 12:40