The Wild Ride to $200K: Bitwise Insists Bitcoin Will Conquer All!

Ah, what a marvelous thing it is to be Bitwise in the current climate—one might even say it’s like placing all your bets on a magnificent stallion, blindfolded, and then declaring, “This is the fastest horse!”

But alas, Bitwise, that valiant institution of crypto aspirations, has doubled down on its audacious prediction. Bitcoin, they declare, shall reach $200,000 by the end of the year. Yes, you heard it right. Despite the glorious chaos of global trade wars, they remain resolute in their bullish dreams. 🐂💰

“In December, we predicted Bitcoin would gallop to $200,000,” says Matt Hougan, chief investment officer at Bitwise, in a blog post from April 9th. “And you know what? I still think that’s happening. No doubt about it!” Ah, the confidence of a man who has apparently not checked the weather forecast for the economy. 🧐

Let us take a moment to appreciate Hougan’s reasoning. Apparently, the trade spats unleashed by President Trump’s global tariff tantrums might just be the thing to propel Bitcoin into the stratosphere. The reasoning? The administration wants a weaker dollar. Yes, the good old greenback may falter, and in the midst of its peril, Bitcoin shall rise like a phoenix. 🔥💵

Of course, this theory is backed by the wisdom of Steve Miran, Chairman of the White House Council of Economic Advisers, who recently ranted about the “persistent currency distortions” and “unsustainable trade deficits” caused by the dollar’s global dominance. According to Miran, these travails have “decimated” U.S. manufacturing. Oh, the poor factories! 🚢💔

Hougan confidently declares that dollar weakness spells Bitcoin strength. “A weak dollar means a strong Bitcoin,” he says with the kind of certainty only a person who hasn’t seen a currency crisis might have. “This pattern will continue, I assure you,” he adds. Yes, let’s take another leap of faith, shall we? 🐇💸

Bitcoin and Dollar Strength

The US Dollar Index (DXY), which tracks the dollar’s power against a basket of six major currencies, has indeed fallen by more than 7% since the beginning of 2025. How delightful! What better time to invest in Bitcoin, surely. 📉

The Fastest Horse in a Field of Carriages 🏇💨

On X, crypto analyst Will Clemente declared, “Bitcoin will be the fastest horse” coming out of this economic downturn. His reasoning? “It’s a reflection of liquidity and not earnings. Economic uncertainty and deglobalization? Those are Bitcoin’s best friends!” How very… optimistic. 🤡

As of the last 24 hours, BTC has surged by 7.5% to a handsome $81,700. A correction of 32% from its January 20th high, but, as we all know, “this is just part of the ride.” Just a minor dip before the inevitable stratospheric rise. Perhaps next week it’ll be a rocket ship. 🚀

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2025-04-10 08:54