The Tale of Kenvue’s Plunging Stock and the Powder of Perdition

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On the appointed Thursday, the shares of Kenvue did not merely decline-they executed a most theatrical swan dive, a thirteen-percent pirouette into the abyss, while the S&P 500 merely shuffled its feet like a bashful schoolboy at a ball. Such is the opera of modern finance, where even the stoutest ledgers tremble at the specter of litigation.

A Lawsuit Sprouts Where Old Talcs Once Flew

Once a limb of the mighty Johnson & Johnson-now severed like a gangrenous toe-the company finds itself haunted by the ghost of powders past. In the U.K., three thousand souls have banded together, their grievances woven into a tapestry of carcinogenic dread. They allege that the talc once dusting infants’ bottoms has, through some alchemical perversity, transmuted itself into a harbinger of cellular betrayal.

One might imagine the courtroom as a grand theater: the plaintiffs, shadows draped in bathrobes of suspicion; the defendants, statuesque in their corporate togas, declaring that cornstarch-adopted in 2020-was no mere fig leaf but a sacred covenant with purity itself. Yet the market, that capricious deity, prefers talc to drama.

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The Alchemy of Denial

Kenvue’s rebuttal arrives like a psalm of defiance: “The court shall find no malignancy in our talc,” they chant, as though conviction alone might rewrite the periodic table. One pictures their executives hunched over microscopes, peering not for asbestos but for absolution, while investors count exit wounds in their portfolios.

And so the farce unfolds-a ballet of bureaucracy and biology, where powders become poisons, and ledgers bloom with the ink of endless disputation. 🎭

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2025-10-17 01:49