The Buffett Bazaar: Three Stocks That Dance to the Market’s Absurd Tune

by

The great man retires, yet his shadow stretches longer than a Russian winter across the financial steppes. Berkshire Hathaway, that peculiar beast of a conglomerate, shall continue its lumbering march forward, guided now by unseen hands that tremble slightly beneath the weight of inherited wisdom. But let us not mourn the twilight of an era – the past, after all, is merely a ledger of curiosities waiting to be reinterpreted by the alchemists of capital.

In this grand theater of tickers and portfolios, where fortunes are spun like threads in some cosmic loom, we find three stocks that might yet amuse the ghost of Graham himself. They are not investments, dear reader, but rather tickets to a masquerade ball where reality and farce waltz cheek to cheek.

1. Alphabet: The Labyrinth of Endless Search

Behold Google’s parent company, Alphabet – a digital Smerdyakov who whispers sweet promises of relevance while hoarding our secrets in vaults deeper than the Moscow gold reserves. Berkshire’s recent embrace of this tech leviathan, after years of pious avoidance, resembles a monk discovering the sensual pleasures of caviar. The stock, once spurned, now rests comfortably in the 11th position of Buffett’s holy portfolio.

Consider the absurdity: mortals believe generative AI would slay the search engine colossus, yet Google merely absorbed the demon and grew fatter. Its cloud division, that ethereal cow grazing on the prairie of data, now fattens itself on the manna of artificial intelligence. One might say it’s raining AI in Silicon Valley, and Alphabet has built itself an ark of algorithms.

Advertisement

2. Amazon: The Colossus with a Thousand Legs

Ah, Amazon – the merchant of everything from samovars to samizdat literature, though I suspect even Bezos himself forgets what dark corners of its bazaar now exist. While Buffett’s disciples purchased this stock in 2019, the Oracle’s breath now lingers upon it like incense in a cathedral of consumption.

Observe the paradox: this titan of e-commerce, which has devoured 38% of the American market like a famished bear at a honey festival, yet still claims the posture of a hungry pup at the global trough. Only 1% of worldwide retail sales flow through its digital veins! What glorious inefficiency! And in the shadows, AWS grows like a mushroom in a damp cellar, nourished by the mycelium of cloud computing. Their prophets now speak of “agentic AI” – whatever dark magic that may be – as the next golden goose.

3. UnitedHealth Group: The Minuet of Medical Capitalism

Here we find UnitedHealth, that solemn undertaker of America’s ailing bodies, recently courted by Buffett’s wandering eye. The stock tumbled like a drunkard from a troika, battered by the specters of Medicare investigations and exploding medical costs. Yet Buffett, ever the connoisseur of distress, perceived not a corpse but a carcass ripe for the carving.

Watch closely as the company adjusts premiums like a fiddler tuning his instrument before a funeral procession. The Department of Justice’s inquiry continues its slow waltz through the corridors of power – a bureaucratic ballet with no final curtain. Yet UnitedHealth persists, phoenix-like, rising from the ashes of every subpoena. Is this not the very alchemy Buffett has practiced for decades?

The market, my friends, is but a carnival of the absurd. These three stocks parade before us like figures from a Gogolian fever dream, each promising riches wrapped in riddles. Whether they deliver fortune or folly remains as uncertain as the weather in St. Petersburg. 📈

Read More

2025-12-16 10:58