The Bitcoin Rally: Who Knew That Bitcoin Could Actually Get Even More Expensive?

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After weeks of idleness, as if Bitcoin had been sipping tea and enjoying the view from its balcony, it finally decided to show some life. A mere trifle of excitement — soaring to a jaw-dropping $95,000 at press time, up 12% on the work-week. Why, you ask? Well, let’s blame it on some positive macro news and the faintest hope that perhaps the worst of tariff-mania is behind us. Just a smidgen of optimism, right? 🍀

The CoinDesk 20 — tracking about 80% of the crypto market cap, like a vigilant watchdog — also surged by over 10% in the last five days. If this trend continues, the crypto world will soon require its own personal trainer for all that extra muscle. 💪

In an interview with Sam Reynolds, Coinbase Institutional’s John D’Agostino had a theory: It’s institutions and sovereign wealth funds gobbling up Bitcoin like it’s the last slice of pizza. Meanwhile, retail traders? Well, they’re mostly scurrying away from Bitcoin ETFs like they’ve seen a ghost. 👻

But, no matter, institutions are here to stay. On Wednesday, Jack Mallers of Strike and Brandon Lutnick from Cantor Fitzgerald announced the launch of Twenty One Capital. It’s a shiny new Bitcoin investment company, funded by the likes of Tether, Bitfinex, and SoftBank. With 42,000 BTC in its treasure chest, Twenty One Capital will soon boast the third largest Bitcoin corporate treasury. Talk about making it rain! 💸

And what about the options markets, you ask? Well, turns out, they’re signaling that traders are more than willing to hold onto their BTC through market swings — showing admirable loyalty, or perhaps just a strong stomach. Bitcoin held its ground, even when stocks and bonds were taking a dive in recent weeks. Omkar Godbole, CoinDesk’s market wizard, was all over that scoop.

This week, Bitcoin achieved the ultimate flex, surpassing Google’s market cap for the first time, claiming the title of the fifth most-valuable financial asset. Not bad for something that started as a whimsical hobby among some disillusioned cypherpunks two decades ago. 😎

Meanwhile, in other news, Zora’s token launch didn’t exactly set the world on fire. In fact, analysts were quick to point out that investors might be getting a little tired of these so-called “VC tokens” that have all the liquidity of a puddle after a hot day. Min Jung from Presto had a spicy take: “The $ZORA launch highlights a recurring issue in Web3: overpromising and underdelivering.” Ouch. Not the best way to start the week. 🤦‍♂️

But fear not, dear crypto enthusiasts. Rising prices for core crypto assets are opening up a new world of possibilities. This week, Peaky Blinders, that British TV gem, introduced a blockchain-based video game and Web3 “ecosystem.” Talk about mixing business with pleasure. 🎮

And, of course, the real winners in this crypto carnival? Bitcoin and stablecoins. Circle, the USDC issuer, unveiled a new global payments and remittances network, and Coinbase decided to make life easier with free conversions between U.S. dollars and PayPal’s PYUSD stablecoin. Simple. Efficient. No drama. 💰

So, as always, you can’t go too far wrong with accumulating Bitcoin and using stablecoins for your purchases. Though, just a reminder: this is not investment advice, but hey, who needs advice when the market’s already this dramatic? 🙃

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2025-04-25 20:40