Tesla’s Troubles & Two Stocks Worth a Second Look

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Tesla, you see, was the darling of the speculative age. A carriage without horses, promising fortunes on every mile. But even the most spirited steed tires, and Tesla, alas, seems to be slowing its gallop. Revenues have flattened, operating income has shrunk – a rather uninspiring tableau for those chasing exponential growth. One begins to suspect the electric future arrived prematurely, and the market, like a discerning judge, is now raising an eyebrow.

They speak of autonomous vehicles and humanoid robots, grand visions indeed. But visions, my friends, do not fill coffers. These are long-term gambles, and in the world of finance, as in life, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. To chase such phantoms with a trillion-dollar valuation seems… optimistic, shall we say? One might be better served looking elsewhere for a more immediate return.

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The Remittance Racket: A Surprisingly Solid Proposition

Now, Remitly Global. This, my friends, is a business built on necessity. People will always send money home to family, even if it means sacrificing a new hat or a slightly less extravagant dinner. It’s a fundamental human impulse, and a remarkably reliable source of income for those who facilitate it. They’ve managed to carve out a niche in this crowded field with a mobile app and lower fees—a simple formula, really, but one that clearly resonates with the masses.

Last quarter, their customer base swelled by 21%, revenue climbed 25%, and they even managed to turn a profit. A rare feat in this age of reckless spending, wouldn’t you agree? Management anticipates revenue doubling to $3 billion, with adjusted EBITDA reaching $600 million. A market cap of $2.85 billion for such prospects? It’s practically a steal. Though some fret about the rise of stablecoins, let us not forget that converting digital fluff into actual currency always involves a cost. And the crackdown on immigration? So far, it seems Remitly’s clientele remain undeterred. People will find a way, you see. They always do.

A sub-$3 billion market cap and the promise of over $500 million in earnings? A prudent investor might consider this a golden opportunity. A long-term hold, naturally. One doesn’t become wealthy overnight, after all. It requires patience, a keen eye, and a touch of cynicism.

Nintendo: The Eternal Child’s Dividend

And then there’s Nintendo. A company that has mastered the art of capturing the imagination of children – and, let’s be honest, adults – for decades. The new Switch 2 is flying off the shelves, surpassing even the success of its predecessor. A testament to the enduring power of a well-crafted distraction.

Sales are up nearly 100% year-over-year, yet the stock is down. Why? Rising chip prices, a lack of blockbuster games. The usual suspects. But let us not be swayed by temporary setbacks. Chip prices will eventually subside, and Nintendo, unlike some companies, is not prone to impulsive spending. They are patient, methodical, and remarkably adept at developing addictive entertainment.

They’re rumored to be working on new Mario, Animal Crossing, and Pokémon titles. A safe bet, wouldn’t you say? And the sequel to their animated Mario Movie is due out in April. The original raked in over a billion dollars. Add to that their expanding theme parks, and you have a company with multiple revenue streams and a loyal fanbase. A rather enviable position, wouldn’t you agree?

With a market cap of $62 billion and an enterprise value below $50 billion thanks to a healthy cash reserve, Nintendo appears undervalued. As the Switch 2 gains traction, earnings could easily surpass $5 billion annually. A bargain, my friends. A genuine bargain. One might even call it…child’s play.

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2026-02-13 13:42