Tariffs, you see, are a ghastly bother. A headache for the shopkeepers, a pinch for the manufacturers, and a right proper squeeze for us lot who actually buy things. But people, bless their cotton socks, will always need biscuits. And occasionally, a little something sparkly. So, despite all the fuss and bother, the spending doesn’t entirely stop. Which is jolly convenient for some.
Here we have a pair of dividend-paying contraptions – ‘stocks’, they call them – that claim to be rather unconcerned about these tariff tomfooleries. Whether that’s true, or just clever marketing, is another matter entirely. Let’s have a poke around, shall we?
1. Realty Income: The Land Baron
Realty Income (O 0.77%) is a rather large fellow, a giant in the business of letting out shops. They own a tremendous number of buildings – over fifteen thousand, if you please – and make others responsible for keeping them spick and span. A clever trick, that. It means they’re not terribly bothered if the price of paint goes up, or the gutters need fixing. They’ve been handing out dividends – little slices of profit – every year for thirty-one years. A remarkably consistent fellow, this Realty Income.
The tariffs? A mere speck of dust on his enormous boots. The shops he lets out have to deal with the cost of imported whatsits and thingamajigs. And since he doesn’t pay for the upkeep, he simply watches them squirm. A rather heartless arrangement, but perfectly legal, you understand.
They offer a dividend of 4.8%, which is a bit like being given a slightly stale biscuit. Not terrible, but not exactly a feast. Still, if you’re looking for somewhere to hide your pennies from the tariff trouble, it could be worse.
2. Agree Realty: The Nimble Newcomer
Now, Realty Income, being so colossal, moves rather slowly. Like a particularly sluggish hippopotamus. Over the last thirty-one years, his dividends have increased at a mere 4.2%. Barely keeping up with the price of tea, really. Last year? A paltry 2.3%. Pitiful, I say!
Agree Realty (ADC 0.12%) is a smaller, more energetic sort. He owns around two thousand six hundred shops, which is enough to spread the risk, but not so many that he can’t still scamper about and grow quickly. A bit like a particularly ambitious ferret.
He’s been increasing his dividends for ten years, at a rate of 5% per year. Last year, a respectable 3.5%. A full 50% more than that lumbering hippopotamus! He’s a clever one, this Agree Realty, always sniffing out opportunities. His dividend yield is a more modest 3.8%, but with growth like that, who needs a mountain of pennies now?
Tariffs: A Most Curious Opportunity
Here’s the truly peculiar bit. These tariffs, these ghastly taxes on imports, might actually help Realty Income and Agree Realty. You see, if the shops they let out start to struggle, they might be forced to sell their buildings. And who do you think will be eager to snap them up? That’s right. These two. A rather cynical arrangement, wouldn’t you say? Turning trouble into treasure. The world is a strange and wondrous place, indeed.
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2026-03-05 14:42