SpaceX & Nvidia: A Rather Predictable Affair

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One hears whispers of a SpaceX IPO, naturally. Valuations are, as always, a matter of optimistic conjecture. A trillion here, a trillion and three-quarters there… it’s all frightfully tedious, isn’t it? The sums bandied about are, of course, entirely dependent on the prevailing winds of enthusiasm and the willingness of investors to suspend disbelief. They anticipate raising fifty billion? How very… ambitious. Though, one notes, they are actually making a profit – a rare and refreshing quality in these times. Eight billion last year, apparently. One almost feels compelled to applaud.

The current obsession is with orbital data centers. A million satellites, they say, for AI computing. It sounds utterly preposterous, frankly. A bit like attempting to build a ballroom on the moon. But then, people will try anything if they have enough money. Moonbase Alpha is the backup plan, of course. Just in case the satellites prove to be a trifle… inconvenient. One suspects a considerable amount of champagne will be involved in the planning stages.

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The Usual Suspects

During a gold rush, as the Americans so inelegantly put it, one sells shovels. A perfectly sensible strategy. One isn’t necessarily bearish on SpaceX, you understand. Merely… realistic. The suppliers, one suspects, are the ones who will truly profit. Whether or not this space-based computing venture actually takes off is almost beside the point. It’s the ancillary benefits that are truly intriguing.

The problem, as always, is infrastructure. Power, cooling, the sheer logistical nightmare of it all. SpaceX hopes to circumvent these difficulties by launching modular data centers into orbit. A rather clever idea, if one overlooks the minor detail of needing to launch approximately six thousand, six hundred and sixty-seven Starship rockets annually. One can’t help but wonder if they’ve actually done the sums. Morningstar, bless their cautious souls, seem equally dubious.

A Rather Predictable Beneficiary

But let us not be unduly pessimistic. Someone is bound to benefit from all this extravagance. And, as anyone with a modicum of sense will tell you, that someone is almost certainly Nvidia. They currently hold approximately eighty-five percent of the AI chip market. A truly dominant position. And, one suspects, a rather comfortable one.

OpenAI, xAI – even Musk’s own little venture – they all want Nvidia chips. It’s hardly a secret. Big tech is apparently prepared to spend over six hundred billion dollars this year on advanced chips and data centers. A truly astonishing sum. And SpaceX, having acquired xAI, is now firmly in the queue. One imagines the waiting list is rather lengthy.

Whether this orbital computing fantasy ever materializes is, frankly, irrelevant. The demand for Nvidia’s products will continue unabated. The IPO funding, one suspects, will eventually find its way into their coffers. It’s a rather predictable outcome, wouldn’t you agree? And, in the grand scheme of things, rather… comforting. One always appreciates a sure thing.

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2026-03-17 01:13