Let me go through each section step by step, ensuring the Dahl style is evident but not overdone. Use words like “scurried”, “greedy goblins”, and “grotesque waltz”. The tone should be light but with a hint of darkness, making the financial analysis engaging and unique.
Done in 8s.
One fine Tuesday in the land of finance, a certain investment firm named Slocum, Gordon & Co LLP decided to scuttle away from its old companion, Kimberly-Clark Corporation (KMB). With a clatter of calculators and a rustle of parchment, they sold all 20,789 shares they once clung to, pocketing approximately £2.96 million in the process. By June 30, 2025, their position in this paper-peddling enterprise had shrunk to zero, as if the shares had vanished into a greedy goblin’s gullet.
Now, what of the remaining treasures in Slocum Gordon’s treasure chest? Let us peek:
- Procter & Gamble: £7.91 million (6.37% of AUM) – a giant with a smile too wide for its own good.
- NextEra Energy: £7.51 million (6.05% of AUM) – a dragon that breathes clean air and charges exorbitantly for it.
- Exxon Mobil: £7.46 million (6.01% of AUM) – a dinosaur with oil in its veins and a stubborn streak.
- Merck: £7.44 million (5.99% of AUM) – a alchemist who turns research into gold, or so they claim.
- American Electric Power: £6.99 million (5.63% of AUM) – a spider spinning webs of voltage and profit.
As for Kimberly-Clark’s shares, they now trade at £131.33, a modest sum when compared to their lofty 52-week high. Over the past year, the stock has slithered downward by 8.46%, trailing the S&P 500 by a distance wider than a troll’s grin. Yet it still offers a dividend yield of 3.74%, a meager crumb for those who dare to stay.
Metric | $43.6 billion |
---|---|
Revenue (TTM) | $19.72 billion |
Net Income (TTM) | $2.43 billion |
Dividend Yield | 3.74% |
Company Snapshot
- This paper-peddling beast crafts diapers, wipes, and tissues under brands like Huggies and Kleenex, selling them to supermarkets, drugstores, and even the occasional dragon hoarding gold in its cave.
- Its customers include both everyday folks and commercial giants, though the latter seem to care little for the former’s plight.
- Kimberly-Clark’s competitive edge? A mix of brand loyalty and the grim inevitability that humans will always need something to wipe with.
A value investor might squint at this company and whisper, “Hmm.” Once a darling of the pandemic, when humanity hoarded toilet paper like it was the last loaf of bread in a war-torn kingdom, Kimberly-Clark now finds itself in a peculiar predicament. The stock has lost more than 15% over five years, and even the recent 1.69% gain feels like a polite nod from a distant cousin.
distracting you from the fact that the rabbit is now a pigeon.
And let us not forget the looming specter of global tariffs. These greedy goblins could force Kimberly-Clark to raise prices, a move that might send already frugal shoppers sprinting to the discount aisle. A grotesque waltz of inflation and indifference, indeed.
Glossary
Fully exited: When an investor sells all shares, leaving the company to its own devices-often for the better.
Position: The amount of a security held, like a squirrel hoarding nuts but with more spreadsheets.
Transaction value: The total cash exchanged, often enough to buy a small island if you’re lucky.
Stake: Ownership in a company, a claim to a sliver of its profits or losses.
AUM: Assets Under Management, the total value of investments a firm keeps in its vault.
13F: A quarterly report filed by institutional investors, revealing their holdings like a magician showing their cards.
Dividend yield: Annual dividends divided by share price, a percentage that promises more than it delivers.
Forward P/E: A price-to-earnings ratio using forecasted earnings, a crystal ball with a spreadsheet.
EV/EBITDA: A measure of company valuation, as useful as a weather vane in a hurricane.
TTM: Twelve months trailing, a time frame that feels both ancient and recent.
52-week high: The highest price a stock has reached in a year, a benchmark that’s often forgotten by year’s end.
Liquidation: The act of selling off assets, a final bow for a struggling investment.
And so, dear reader, the tale of Kimberly-Clark continues-a story of diapers, tariffs, and the eternal struggle between profit and prudence. One can only hope the company’s next chapter is less like a sinking ship and more like a well-stocked larder. 🐍
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2025-08-21 17:52