(A grand salon in the House of Semler. Enter Éric, majestic and dramatically clutching a ledger.)
ÉRIC, Chairman of This Respected Board (and, so it seems, an amateur soothsayer of the digital coin), declaims with all the gravity of a man who hath discovered a cure for gout: “Gentlemen, mesdames, behold! Our faith in this most mystical creation—Bitcoin—grows ever deeper, as deep as a poet’s pockets are shallow.”
Indeed! The company (not content to let idle riches sleep beneath a lumpy mattress) has amassed a sumptuous hoard of 3,467 bitcoins—mon dieu! Such audacity hath not been seen since Molière’s Harpagon hid his precious casket! Semler, eyes twinkling like a mischievous valet, boasts a dazzling 23.8% yield this year alone. Investment acumen or expert fortune-telling? The audience whispers in awe… or is that envy?
“We bleed orange,” he brags, no doubt bleeding, too, with anticipation—though let us pray, not from their purses. A sly nod to Bitcoin’s garish hue, which one might describe as less ‘wealth’ and more ‘look at me!’
Semler Scientific, far from being content with stethoscopes and spectacles, now follows in the swaggering footsteps of crypto titans—MicroStrategy, et al. Why secure one’s fortune in drachmas or doubloons when you might instead chase profit on the tempestuous seas of crypto? Inflation knocks at the doors of mere mortals; Semler answers with a digital flourish and a cry of “Hedge, ho!”
So, armed with this acquisition, Semler Scientific vaults onto the grand stage of bold corporate Bitcoiners—healthcare today, tomorrow, crypto-captainry! Diversify or die, as the modern Molière might say—or at least, diversify and hope the price chart doesn’t resemble Tartuffe’s morality: up, down, and rarely predictable. 🎭💰
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2025-05-01 06:14