SEC’s Dogecoin ETF Saga: Gruff Bureaucrats, Delays, and a Touch of Meme Madness

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It was the dawn of the year—a time when men dreamed and even hounds dared raise their snouts toward law and fate—that the first Dogecoin ETF requests shuffled unceremoniously into the grand, carpeted halls of America’s Securities and Exchange Commission. In that gilded stagecraft of dreams, Dogecoin found itself shoulder to shoulder with XRP, Solana, and Litecoin—each hustling, each hopeful, like suitors at a provincial dance, all vying for the SEC’s hand in regulatory matrimony. Yet, while the orchestra of financiers played merry tunes, the grim-faced chaperone—the SEC—seemed content to simply tap its foot and mutter “perhaps…but not yet.” 🐾

Delays: The SEC’s Favorite Passtime

With a bureaucracy’s patience rivaling that of a peasant awaiting spring, the SEC had indeed graciously acknowledged the very existence of Dogecoin—and her ETF companions. Yet acknowledgment, as even the lowliest courtier knows, is no guarantee of affection (or approval). In the cruel month of April, as rains fell and hearts soaked, both XRP and Dogecoin ETFs were told politely—but firmly—to wait their turn, as their decisions evaporated into the fog of “further consideration.” Any student of bureaucracy suspects this means: “We’ll see if we feel like reading your application over tea—perhaps next equinox.” 😴

The latest pink slip of delay was handed to the Litecoin ETF. The analysts at Bloomberg—those modern-day mystics—had whispered that the Litecoin ETF had a 90% chance of approval, which of course, in bureaucratic language, means “ah, delay it, just to keep things spicy!” With Litecoin cooling its heels, it was only logical that Dogecoin, the lovable jester of coins, would be forced to await its turn amongst the shuffled chairs of officialdom.

Still, hope springs eternal. A self-proclaimed ETF prophet from Bloomberg—one James Seyffart—had decreed, via social oracle (also known as “X”), that Dogecoin ETF had a hearty 75% chance of ascending to regulatory heaven this very year. But, ask any Russian peasant: the harvest only arrives after a season of waiting and a little bit of suffering. Thus, as the next decision—a date as arbitrary as any, June 17—draws near, the wise bet is for another grand postponement. Why rush, when there are papers to shuffle and meetings to prolong? Every bureaucrat, like every Tolstoyan noble, knows that absolutism is strongest when action is weakest.⏰

The curtain for the SEC’s final answer may not rise until October 18, 2025. By then, the world may have spun wildly or, more likely, the SEC’s tea will have cooled sufficiently to warrant a rubber stamp. But out in the digital steppes, the Dogecoin faithful remain, waiting around the samovar of hope. Whether they receive bread or only a few crumbs is, of course, a chapter yet unwritten.

Dogecoin ETF: The Fabled Price Stampede

Should the fickle hand of the SEC ever bless the Dogecoin ETF, market soothsayers assure us that DOGE shall soar like Rostov’s horse at Borodino—surely, galloping toward the storied ten dollars! This would mirror the waltz previously observed with Bitcoin and Ethereum’s ascensions—each ETF approval sparking celebrations intense enough to make even Pierre Bezukhov blush.

The ever-sanguine priests at 21Shares have praised Dogecoin’s transformation: no longer merely a “meme coin,” but a serious asset, worthy of a spot beside Bitcoin in the hallowed halls of a well-heeled investor’s portfolio. The kind of partnership that would make even the shrewdest Moscow banker nod gravely at a dinner party, while quietly wondering if the universe itself isn’t in on the joke. 🤡💸

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2025-05-08 23:06