Ah, the marvelous Michael Saylor, the man who’d buy a Bitcoin even if it were hidden inside a giant chocolate egg! His latest proclamation-“We buy real bitcoin. We don’t rehypothecate.”-has sent the crypto world into a tizzy, like a room full of squirrels discovering a nut convention. Jameson Lopp, the Casa CTO with a nose for mischief, poked the bear by asking if Strategy’s Bitcoin stash is as real as a Dahlian giant peach or just a puff of smoke from a wizard’s hat.
Saylor’s response? As blunt as a whack from the BFG’s giant hand. But Lopp, ever the skeptic, sniffed around like a fox in a henhouse, wondering if those Bitcoins are truly unencumbered or if they’re being passed around like a hot potato at a rehypothecation party. Meanwhile, Strategy’s Bitcoin binge continues, gobbling up 2,932 BTC in January 2026 alone-enough to make even Willy Wonka’s bank account blush. As of Jan. 25, they’ve hoarded 712,647 BTC, a treasure trove that’d make the BFG’s ear trumpet jealous.
Jesse Myers chimed in, claiming Strategy’s appetite is tightening the Bitcoin supply faster than the Twits could tighten their belts after a feast. “The price must go higher,” he declared, as if Bitcoin were a magical balloon about to float into the stratosphere. But Lopp wasn’t having it. “Real Bitcoin, you say? Prove it!” he challenged, like a mischievous Oompa Loompa demanding a golden ticket.
Paper Bitcoin? More Like Phantom Bitcoin!
Lopp’s skepticism is as sharp as Miss Trunchbull’s whistle. “Does Strategy actually verify their Bitcoin isn’t being rehypothecated?” he asked, raising an eyebrow so high it nearly touched his hairline. Saylor’s reply? A firm “No rehypothecation here, mate!” But Lopp wasn’t convinced, pointing out that custodians might be playing a game of Bitcoin hot potato behind the scenes. “Trusted third parties are security holes,” he quipped, as if they were the Grand High Witch in disguise.
We buy real bitcoin. We don’t rehypothecate.
– Michael Saylor (@saylor) January 28, 2026
The debate raged on, with some demanding Strategy show their Bitcoin addresses like a child showing off their sweet stash. “Prove it!” one user cried, while others warned that such transparency might scare the TradFi crowd more than a giant peach rolling down a hill. Defenders pointed to auditors and public-company controls, but Lopp remained unmoved. “It’s all a black box,” he grumbled, like a child denied a golden ticket to the chocolate factory.
Adam Back, the Bitcoin OG, chimed in, suggesting that custodians like Fidelity and Coinbase are as reliable as the BFG’s promise to catch dreams. But Lopp wasn’t buying it. “Are auditors spinning up nodes and verifying balances?” he asked, skeptical as ever. Saylor, undeterred, doubled down: “We audit our custodians. You shouldn’t rehypothecate either.” A sage piece of advice, or just more hot air? Only time will tell.
As the dust settles, Bitcoin sits pretty at $88,001, leaving us all to wonder: Is Strategy’s Bitcoin as real as a Dahlian adventure, or just a fantastical tale spun by a master storyteller?
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2026-01-30 05:27