Sam Bankman-Fried’s Hilarious Take on His $93 Billion FTX Fantasy! 😂💸

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In a most peculiar twist of fate, Sam Bankman-Fried, the erstwhile sovereign of FTX, found himself in a rather cramped cell, exchanging pleasantries with none other than Tucker Carlson. Our dear Sam, with a twinkle in his eye, still clings to the notion that declaring bankruptcy was akin to throwing a grand feast and forgetting the cake. He insists that had the stars aligned, FTX would now boast a staggering $93 billion in assets, all thanks to his astute investments. 🍰

Ah, but let us not forget the delightful biases that color his musings! It appears that many of his beliefs have remained as steadfast as a stubborn mule since the fateful year of 2022. 🐴

Sam Bankman-Fried’s First Video Interview From the Land of Shadows

Behold! The infamous co-founder of FTX, Sam Bankman-Fried, has re-emerged from the depths of obscurity, despite his 25-year sentence. Just last month, he graced the airwaves with his first interview from behind bars, casting hopeful glances toward a pardon from President Trump. 🎤

Today, he sat down with Carlson for a new video interview, covering topics as varied as a buffet table at a wedding. However, the elusive pardon was notably absent from their conversation. When Carlson inquired why his generous political donations failed to keep him out of prison in 2022, Sam, with a sigh, lamented his disillusionment with the Democratic Party. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! 😅

This sentiment echoes his previous declarations, as if he were a broken record stuck in a loop of self-justification.

“One factor that might be relevant is, in 2020, I was center-left, and I gave a lot to Biden’s campaign. I was optimistic. By 2022, I was giving to Republicans, privately, as much as Democrats. That started becoming known right around FTX’s collapse. That probably played a role,” he claimed, as if the universe conspired against him. 🌌

Aside from this minor shift in allegiance, many of his crypto-related beliefs remain as unchanged as a statue in a park. For instance, when asked whether crypto crimes were more rampant a decade ago, he confidently asserted they were smaller, invoking the infamous Silk Road. Ah, nostalgia! 🕰️

When pressed about his liquid assets, Bankman-Fried waxed poetic about roads not taken, as if he were a philosopher pondering the meaning of life.

“The company I used to own, had nothing intervened, today would have about $15 billion of liabilities and about $93 billion of assets. There was enough money to pay everyone back in kind at the time. Plenty of interest left over, and tens of billions left for investors. But that’s not how it worked out. It’s been a colossal disaster,” he lamented, as if he were recounting a tragic opera. 🎭

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Meanwhile, in the year 2025, crypto scams can pilfer that amount in a single day! It’s crucial to keep his biases in mind, especially since he’s now a spectator in this grand theater of life.

Carlson, ever the inquisitor, pressed Bankman-Fried on various topics, including whether crypto scams were tarnishing the industry’s reputation. Their conversation meandered through the absurd, touching on celebrities sharing his cell, the curious use of muffins as “prison money,” and even Bankman-Fried’s upcoming birthday bash. 🎉

Despite his ongoing attempts to appeal his conviction, he acknowledged that it’s a long shot, much like a cat trying to catch its own tail. 🐱

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2025-03-07 01:39