February 11th. Another day, another dip. Honestly, you’d think after all this time I’d be used to it. But no. Still find myself checking the Robinhood app approximately every seven minutes. It’s like a very expensive, slightly terrifying screensaver. Today, HOOD (that’s Robinhood, for the uninitiated) closed down 8.91%. 8.91%! It feels…significant. Like the universe is sending a message. Possibly that I should have stuck to savings accounts.
Trading volume was… enthusiastic. 68.3 million shares. Which, apparently, is 146% above their three-month average. So, lots of people are also panicking, then. Misery loves company, I suppose. They IPO’d back in 2021, and have gone up 105% since then. Which sounds impressive until you remember what the market could have done in that time. I’m trying not to dwell.
The S&P 500 held steady, which is nice for them. The Nasdaq Composite eased down 0.16%. Everyone else seems to be coping slightly better. Charles Schwab was down 3.83%, Interactive Brokers Group down 1.10%. It’s like they’re all in a slightly different stage of denial. I feel a kinship.
The problem, as everyone is now pointing out, is crypto. It’s been…underperforming. Since October, in fact. Bitcoin has lost 43% of its value. 43%! It’s enough to make you question all your life choices. Robinhood is down 30% in the same period. Which, I suppose, is better than Bitcoin, but not exactly cause for celebration. They’ve positioned themselves as a leading crypto broker, which, in hindsight, feels a little bit like building your house on sand.
Analysts at Piper Sandler, JPMorgan, and Compass Point have all lowered their price targets. Lowered! As if the stock wasn’t already feeling insecure enough. They reported a record $4.5 billion in revenue for 2025, which sounds fantastic, except that the Q4 figures didn’t meet expectations. It’s always something, isn’t it? Like a cosmic joke.
Disappointing revenue from crypto and options trading seems to be the main culprit. They’re trying to diversify, pushing into blockchain with Robinhood Chain and decentralized finance products. It’s admirable, really. Like a slightly desperate attempt to reinvent yourself. I’m trying to be optimistic. But it’s hard. Very hard.
Units of Cryptocurrency Lost: Significant. Hours Spent Watching Charts: 11. Number of Panicked Texts to Friends: 27. Number of Times I’ve Considered Just Selling Everything and Buying a Farm: 4. I need a holiday. And possibly a financial advisor. Or maybe just a very large bar of chocolate.
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2026-02-12 01:14