Recession Rumble: Stocks for the Slightly Nasty Times

Now, listen closely, because the grown-ups are whispering about a bit of a wobble. A slump, they call it. A recession. The prediction machines – clever contraptions, but prone to hiccups – are suggesting a 30% chance of unpleasantness this year. Most folks panic and hide their pennies. But a clever investor? A clever investor smiles. Because whilst others are weeping into their biscuits, there are opportunities to be had. Let’s have a look at three businesses that might just thrive when the going gets grim.

Walmart: The Pantry Raider

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Old Man Walmart, a rather portly fellow, has a knack for surviving these downturns. In fact, he positively grows when times are tough. During the last three big scrapes – the COVID kerfuffle, the Great Recession, and that dot-com fizzle – his shares did rather nicely. Folks, when their pockets are feeling a bit light, they don’t go seeking fancy truffles. They head for the sensible staples. And that’s where Walmart excels.

He’s changed a bit, you see. No longer just a purveyor of knick-knacks and slightly dusty toys. Now, a whopping 60% of his business is groceries. Proper, honest-to-goodness food. And, cleverly, he’s started luring in the more… discerning customers with the promise of speedy deliveries. A little bit of convenience goes a long way, even for those who usually demand caviar with their breakfast. It’s a cunning plan, really.

Netflix: The Distraction Emporium

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When the world feels a bit wobbly, people tend to stay indoors and seek distraction. And what better distraction than a flickering screen and a tale or two? Netflix, that purveyor of moving pictures, seems to understand this perfectly. During the last big scrape, his shares did a little jig. And during the COVID chaos, they practically did a somersault!

He had a bit of a tussle with a rather blustery fellow running Warner Bros Discovery, but it turns out that not getting his hands on that business might be the best thing to happen. It keeps his pockets a bit fuller and avoids the trouble of showing films in those draughty, expensive picture palaces. And his new little advertising venture? It’s just a tiny sprout at the moment, but it’s growing nicely. A clever little addition.

Philip Morris International: The Persistent Puff

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Now, Philip Morris is a bit of a peculiar character. He spun off from a rather large and grumpy fellow named Altria some years ago, so he missed a couple of the recent scrapes. But the truth is, his business is remarkably… resilient. People have habits, you see. And some habits are very, very difficult to break. Cigarettes, unfortunately, fall into that category.

He doesn’t sell his wares in the United States, which is a good thing, as that market is shrinking faster than a snowman in July. But his international business is holding up rather nicely. And he’s been busy tinkering with new contraptions – little pouches of nicotine and heated tobacco devices. He calls them ‘smoke-free’, which is a rather clever bit of marketing. They’re growing in popularity, and they seem to be a bit more… profitable than the old-fashioned sticks. A sneaky little advantage.

So there you have it. Three businesses that, whilst the world frets and worries, might just manage to thrive. Not because they’re particularly virtuous, mind you. But because they understand the peculiar, predictable, and often rather silly habits of us humans. And that, my friends, is a very clever thing indeed.

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2026-03-17 03:02