My aunt Mildred, bless her, decided last year that she was a “growth investor.” She’d seen a commercial during Wheel of Fortune, and suddenly, she was fluent in the language of disruptive technologies. She kept asking me about “the QQQ,” which she pronounced like a sneeze. I tried explaining it was an ETF, not a particularly aggressive strain of the flu, but she mostly wanted to know if it involved robots. Robots, apparently, were a sure thing. I suspect she’s still waiting for the robot dividend.
The Invesco QQQ Trust (QQQ +0.09%) – yes, the one that sounds like a malfunctioning printer – has done rather well for itself, hasn’t it? Up 84% in five years. Which, if you do the math (and I rarely do, preferring to outsource even the simplest calculations to Siri), works out to about 13% annually. Not bad. The S&P 500 chugs along at a respectable 10%, but it doesn’t have that vaguely unsettling ticker symbol. It feels…sturdier. Like a sensible pair of shoes. The QQQ feels like roller skates. Potentially exhilarating, but with a high probability of face-planting.
Which leads me to wonder: is it still a good idea? Are we at the peak of this tech-fueled frenzy? My financial advisor, a man named Chet who always smells faintly of lemon polish, keeps assuring me it is. Chet, however, also believes in the power of positive thinking, so I take everything he says with a grain of salt. A large grain. The size of a small pebble.
A Little Volatility Never Hurt Anyone (Much)
The QQQ, you see, is essentially a basket of the most valuable companies on the Nasdaq exchange. Mostly tech, mostly companies that promise to change the world, mostly companies that are, frankly, a little intimidating. It’s like looking at a list of people you’d be afraid to sit next to at a dinner party. They’d probably talk about blockchain and NFTs and then judge your wine choice. And a lot of these companies aren’t cheap. Palantir Technologies and Tesla, for example, trade at valuations that make my eyes water. It’s like paying $50 for a single avocado. It’s unsustainable. It feels…wrong. As of Monday, it’s been flat. Which, in the world of high-growth stocks, is practically a disaster. A slow, quiet disaster, but a disaster nonetheless.
Long-Term Thinking (and a Little Hope)
Look, if you’re the kind of person who needs to check your portfolio every five minutes, the QQQ probably isn’t for you. You’ll end up with a permanent twitch and a deep-seated resentment of algorithms. But if you’re willing to play the long game – five years or more – it could be a decent addition to your holdings. It recovered from that dreadful 33% drop in 2022, when everyone suddenly remembered that inflation exists, and it’ll likely bounce back from whatever comes next. The market always does, eventually. It’s just…unpredictable. Like a cat. You can try to anticipate its movements, but ultimately, it’ll do whatever it wants.
My aunt Mildred, meanwhile, is still waiting for those robot dividends. She’s started a spreadsheet, meticulously tracking every fluctuation in the QQQ’s price. She’s also developed a complex theory about the correlation between stock market performance and the number of squirrels in her backyard. I haven’t the heart to tell her it’s probably just coincidence. Sometimes, a little delusion is a good thing. It keeps things interesting.
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2026-02-10 20:08