- Peter Schiff, ever the Cassandra at the cryptocurrency banquet, restarts his well-worn aria: Bitcoin, he insists, is as steadfast as a soufflé in a sauna—an unsuitable hedge, prone to collapse at the faintest whiff of inflation.
- Kevin O’Leary and Senator Lummis, meanwhile, spend no time napping in the drawing room, instead rallying to Bitcoin’s defence as it mingles with policy and market society.
In the least shocking plot twist since a Jane Austen heroine gets married, Peter Schiff—Bitcoin’s most tireless gadfly—has again taken to social media, thundering like an old prophet with gold bullion clutched to his heart: “Bitcoin lacks legitimacy!” (The room, shockingly, did not gasp.)
Schiff’s critiques of Bitcoin
Our golden curmudgeon directed his wit at Bitcoin’s supposed role as inflation hedge, arguing with the conviction of a man who’s never lost a dinner party debate. To Schiff, Bitcoin’s recent antics more closely resemble a caffeinated squirrel on the NASDAQ, not the dignified calm of gold in a velvet pouch.
Gold, he proclaims, is the “true store of value”—while Bitcoin, in Schiff’s eyes, is merely playing dress-up at the masquerade ball of tech stocks. One can imagine him sighing in frustration, polishing his ingots as the world tweets recklessly on.
Taking to X, Schiff delivered this gem:
“It should be clear from recent price action that claims that Bitcoin has decoupled from the NASDAQ and now trades more like gold are false. If you’re worried about inflation and want to protect your purchasing power buy gold. If you want to bet on the NASDAQ just buy tech stocks.”
Why does Schiff believe more in gold than Bitcoin?
Schiff, it seems, finds his faith in gold as unshakeable as a Victorian gentleman’s commitment to waistcoats. He attributes Bitcoin’s unpredictable prices to wild speculation and fickle macroeconomic love affairs—whereas gold, in his philosophy, is the one who always texts back.
“Is this the asset to guard your wealth in times of distress?” he muses. “Surely not!” Gold is the steadfast butler; Bitcoin, the mischievous footman likely caught in scandal. And yet, in classic Wildean fashion, the crypto crowd met Schiff’s warning with all the respect they normally reserve for telemarketers.
The community stands against Schiff’s argument
Enter Kevin O’Leary—never short of bravado—who swatted away Schiff’s lamentations with one blinding tweet, drawing clearer lines between the old-money barristers and the upstart crypto nouveaux riches.
“#BITCOIN IS THE ONLY CRYPTO THAT BILLIONS OF PEOPLE WILL BUY.”
Meanwhile, Senator Cynthia Lummis, perhaps inspired by a dash of mischief, tossed into debate the BITCOIN Act—proposing, with delicious audacity, that Bitcoin could be the secret sauce in remedying America’s $36 trillion debt headache. Will Bitcoin be the hero the Republic needs, or simply another conveniently ignored recommendation in a government report? Stay tuned.
The Act, still a creature of rumour and intrigue, signals that Bitcoin is at the very least invited to the policymaking ballroom—if not yet permitted to dance.
Bitcoin’s price action
While this diatribe rages, Bitcoin’s price continues its own theatrical production. Despite a paltry 0.64% swoon (the financial equivalent of a fainting spell), BTC remains insufferably buoyant at $96,201.18, having recently flung off its resistance shackles with all the flair of a Houdini escape act.
Yes, the curtain has not yet fallen on this spectacle. As the gold bugs polish their bars and the crypto crowd polish their memes, the question lingers: will Bitcoin be cast as the enduring protagonist or the comic relief? The next act, as ever, awaits.
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2025-05-03 18:22