Now, it’s down 11% from its peak. A momentary wobble, naturally. The usual suspects are wringing their hands, questioning if the upward trajectory is… waning. Others, bless their optimistic souls, see a ‘buying opportunity’. As if the market were a particularly predictable game of bridge. One suspects both are equally prone to disappointment.
Quantum computing, one is informed, offers the possibility of resolving problems beyond the capacity of even the most advanced calculating engines currently at our disposal. A most intriguing prospect, to be sure. Rigetti Computing, a company dedicated solely to this pursuit, thus presents itself as a potential beneficiary of this technological advancement. But is an investment in its shares a prudent course, or merely a gamble upon a distant and uncertain future?
So, let’s do some math, shall we? On April 8th, 2025, the Nasdaq was chilling at 15,268. If history repeats itself – and let’s be honest, it rarely does, but let’s pretend it does for dramatic effect – we’re looking at a glorious 30,231 by April 8th, 2027. A number so big, it requires its own zip code. Now, past performance isn’t a guarantee, of course. That’s what lawyers are for. But two stocks, my friends, two stocks are poised to take advantage of this madness: Meta Platforms and Robinhood Markets. Don’t tell anyone I told you.
Investors, bless their optimistic hearts, have been rather excited by all sorts of shiny new things: artificial intelligence (which sounds like something from a science fiction comic), quantum computing (even more baffling), the hope of cheaper borrowing, companies buying back their own shares (a bit like a dog chasing its tail), and a surprisingly resilient American economy. It’s all a bit much, really.
The stock, predictably, has wobbled a bit. Down roughly 10% from its recent high. Which, in the grand scheme of cosmic events, is less than the margin of error when calculating the probability of a slightly used toaster spontaneously achieving sentience. But it is enough to provoke the usual chorus of panicked pronouncements. Is this a buying opportunity? Well, that depends. Are you, in fact, a buyer? (A surprisingly difficult question, when you think about it. What does it even mean to ‘buy’ something? Is it merely the exchange of symbolic tokens? Or a deeper existential commitment?)
But such ascents rarely continue unburdened. One cannot help but wonder if this momentum is merely a fleeting illusion, a shimmering mirage in the vast desert of the market. The valuation, while diminished from its recent peaks, remains… ambitious. Let us, then, adopt a longer view, and consider whether Palantir warrants a place within a portfolio, or if it is best observed from a distance, a fascinating, yet ultimately precarious, spectacle.
They call themselves “The Monthly Dividend Company®.” Trademarked, naturally. The sheer audacity. But here’s the thing: they’ve earned it. Six hundred and sixty-seven consecutive monthly dividends. Let that sink in. While the rest of Wall Street is engaged in quarterly kabuki theater, these guys are just…grinding. Steady. Relentless. They’re the cockroaches of the retail apocalypse, thriving in the rubble. Grocery stores, drug stores, convenience stores – the places people have to go, even when the world is falling apart. They’re not selling dreams; they’re selling necessities. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. They’ve even started dabbling in gaming and data centers – a desperate attempt to stay ahead of the curve, perhaps, but a smart one. They’re evolving, adapting, refusing to become relics of a bygone era. The fact that they’ve boosted their payout 133 times since 1994? It’s not just impressive; it’s borderline unhinged. It suggests a level of discipline, a ruthless commitment to returning capital to shareholders, that’s frankly unsettling in this age of corporate excess.
Naturally, everyone is scrambling for a piece of the action. One suspects Nvidia and its hardware brethren are already feeling a trifle smug, but their most spectacular growth days are likely behind them. The real opportunity, my dears, lies with those actually building these digital fortresses. It’s terribly mundane, really, but that’s where the money is.
The truly boring, but ultimately sensible, approach is to find companies with an actual advantage, a clear path to expansion. It’s less about hitting the jackpot and more about slow, steady gains. Like a sensible cardigan. Which, admittedly, isn’t very exciting. But here are two that have caught my eye, and no, I haven’t been bribed. Much.
Amazon, presently valued at $2.6 trillion, needs to add roughly 92% to its market cap to hit the $5 trillion mark. This translates to annual returns of around 24% over the next three years. Alphabet, at $3.9 trillion, requires a comparatively modest 28% increase, implying annual returns of 9%. These figures, viewed in isolation, appear… optimistic. But then again, so is the entire concept of assigning monetary value to abstract concepts like “brand recognition” or “future potential.” (It’s a bit like trying to measure the weight of a dream. Possible, theoretically, but deeply unsettling.)