Bitmine’s $14B Ethereum Stash: Are They Winning or Just Playing the Crypto Lottery?

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So, what’s in the treasure chest? A tidy 3,313,069 ETH, 192 bitcoin (BTC), an $88 million stake in Eightco Holdings, and $305 million in cash just sitting there doing nothing. Can someone say “slush fund”? 🤑 According to their Chairman, Tom Lee, their crypto hoard represents around 2.8% of the total ethereum supply. Apparently, they’re halfway to the “alchemy of 5%” – sounds like some wizardry, doesn’t it? 🧙‍♂️

🤑 Bitcoin’s Grand Farce: Profits Soar, Fools Rejoice! 🤑

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Bitcoin Chart from Darkfost

With Bitcoin’s price aloft, the market doth don a bullish visage, and the traders, those merry rogues, rejoice! 🦬 The recent ascent hath breathed life into the coffers of many a holder, their coins now bathed in the golden light of profitability. Darkfost, that sage of CryptoQuant, doth proclaim that the percentage of Bitcoin’s supply in profit riseth once more, a harbinger of renewed market merriment. 🎭

Clio Exits BLDR Stake: A Contrarian’s Reflection

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The filing, dated October 21, 2025, revealed the full liquidation of Clio’s stake in Builders FirstSource. The price, averaged over the quarter, bore the weight of a market weary of cyclical industries. Yet one might ask: Was this a prudent retreat or a premature surrender to the siren song of fear?

The Great Money Race: XRP Zips, SWIFT Drags 🚀💸

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I’ve spent years in fintech’s trenches, where explaining a two-day payment delay feels like justifying why the moon isn’t made of cheese. This guide? It’s your shovel for digging through the hype. Remittance PMs, crypto-curious ops teams, and corridor pilots welcome. We’ll serve you speed formulas, landed-cost recipes, and a $500-to-$2,000 case study. And yes, you’ll learn how to buy XRP via Moonpay without summoning the finance gods. 🧨📈

McGuire Sells $3M Lam Research Stake – No Cause for Alarm

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According to the SEC filing, McGuire’s portfolio managers executed a reduction in their Lam Research position during Q3 2025, a maneuver that left them clutching 269,611 shares. The transaction, valued at $2.79 million, was executed with the precision of a chess grandmaster sacrificing a pawn to control the board-or perhaps the desperate gambit of a man who just remembered he left the stove on.

Turgenev’s Tale of DOGE: Whales, Pools, and a $0.20 Dilemma 🐕💸

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KuCoin, that most enterprising of exchanges, has woven KuPool into its tapestry, a “trust-based” system where miners may verify their hash rate with the precision of a Russian poet measuring syllables. Among the assets? DOGE, LTC, and soon BTC-though one might wonder if BTC, hearing its name in such company, sighs with existential dread. The inclusion of DOGE, that playful cur, hints at KuCoin’s whimsical nod to the masses who mine with joy, not just profit.

Trader’s Exit: The Big Okta Selloff and What It Means for Investors

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As of October 20, 2025, My Personal CFO’s 13F filing-now that’s the fancy paperwork institutions file with the SEC-shows they’ve completely liquidated their Okta position. All those shares, gone. They’ve walked away, leaving a hole in their portfolio as empty as a church pew on a Sunday morning. With that, Okta no longer holds any weight in the fund’s reported assets, which, by the way, totaled 94 different positions as of September 30, 2025. Not a bad list, but Okta is out the door.

Bitcoin Ascends $115K Amidst US-China Tensions & PEPENODE’s Presale Splendor!

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Behold, Bitcoin hath returned to the lofty sum of $115,000, following October’s tumultuous market convulsions-occasioned by the US-China Trade Relations’ tempest-which reduced 1.6 million traders to beggary and inflicted $19 billion upon the leveraged sector. One might suppose such chaos rivals the social upheavals of a particularly disastrous ball at Netherfield.