In the second quarter, Altria’s adjusted EPS growth and revised guidance might make one believe in miracles. Revenue net of excise taxes fell 1.7% to $5.29 billion, while EPS climbed 8.3% to $1.44. One might call this progress, but let’s not confuse a sleight of hand for a standing ovation. The elephant in the room—declining shipment volumes—remains unacknowledged, like a bureaucratic memo buried in a drawer.
Yet, what predictions might be considered appropriate from such a vantage as three years hence? Shall we peer through our crystal balls or simply observe quietly the tableau of data center developments to divine the future? Let us indulge in a modest examination.
To declare Meta a continuing ‘hot buy’ would be premature. Too many uncertainties remain. This assessment will examine the recent performance – the causes of its upward trajectory – and, more importantly, the substantial risks that linger beneath the surface, risks which the market appears, with characteristic short-sightedness, to have largely ignored.
But as any expert in dividends (and, for that matter, Mel Brooks movies) will tell you, even the biggest fish eventually find themselves dodging smaller, scrappier fish with much sharper teeth. Enter, stage left (possibly tripping over his own shoes for comedic effect): Shopify (SHOP). This plucky Canadian outfit has done for e-commerce what sliced bread did for… well, unsliced bread.
To the uninitiated, a stock split appears as magical as a conjurer’s rabbit. But let us dissect this illusion with the precision of a surgeon who has seen too many appendectomies. A stock split is but a bureaucratic sleight of hand: shares multiply while value remains constant, like dividing a cake into smaller slices and pretending the hunger has vanished. A 3-for-1 split? Imagine a peasant with 10 gold coins suddenly holding 30 copper ones. The total wealth? Still a peasant’s meager hoard. And reverse splits? Those are the desperate waltz of a company waltzing on a tightrope over a canyon of regulations. One false step, and the Nasdaq’s gavel falls like a thunderclap from the heavens.
Nvidia—how its name rings, like the click of hooves on winter streets. Once mere artisans of graphics, the company now strides as a colossus across the AI frontier, its chips the seed from which verdant forests of code spring. The world bends around its GPUs: silicon petals conjuring intelligence where before there was only dust.
The Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) has decided to spice things up and launched the “Crypto Sprint” (sounds like a marathon but for your digital assets). Announced by Acting Chairman Caroline D. Pham, because she clearly likes to make things lively, this move aims to slap a cure-all label on the President’s Working Group report—like giving it a much-needed caffeine boost. The goal? Make the U.S. the boss of digital assets. Yep, America’s back on the blockchain throne! 🇺🇸✨
Once a darling of speculative fervor in late 2020, Palantir soared to celestial heights only to descend precipitously by the end of 2022, losing over 80% of its value. Yet, like a phoenix adorned in silicon feathers, it rose again, delivering returns so staggering they seem almost impertinent. Last year, it led the S&P 500 with a 340% gain, and this year, it continues its ascent with a 105% rise thus far. Its price-to-sales ratio, hovering around 120, suggests either genius or madness—or perhaps both, which is often the case in matters of finance.
There was a recent whisper from the wise MrD Indicators, a brave attempt to catch a falling star—or, more accurately, a plummeting coin—setting an entry at the ludicrous range of $830.6 to $845.47. Targets were laid out like breadcrumbs on a wolf’s path, and stop-losses placed at $907.02, so the trader’s hopes could be dashed mercilessly. And dash they did—each target shattered with cruel precision, unleashing a modest harvest of 163.70%—a number that stings like a slap when you realize it’s just a flicker amidst the darkness.
Within this carnival of capital, some treasures shimmer with the promise of doubling their worth—a spectacle truly worth the theatrical stage. Here enters our first act: the curious case of two healthcare enterprises—both having doubled in the span of a mere twelve moons, yet still standing on the verge of further ascent, their banners fluttering in the wind of future prosperity.