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This marks Strategy’s third-largest Bitcoin binge since it began hoarding the digital gold five years ago. And naturally, this is excellent news for the crypto glitterati-the presales currently frolicking in the limelight. When institutions like Strategy toss billions into $BTC, it tends to lift market sentiment faster than champagne corks on New Year’s Eve. Cue renewed interest in early-stage projects, darling.

Ah, the good old legal tangle that started back in December 2020-imagine a peculiarly British cricket match but with more money and less sportsmanship. The SEC, smelling blood, accused Ripple of breaking a few laws with their XRP tokens, originally demanding a cool $2 billion. Quite a penny, wouldn’t you say? Since then, it’s been a rollercoaster of rulings, counter-rulings, and the ever-present hope that someday, somehow, someone will announce the final curtains. Judge Torres, ever the diplomat, decided in 2023 that Ripple’s secondary market shenanigans weren’t securities offerings, leading to a modest $125 million slap on the wrist-small change in the grand scheme. But no, the fun isn’t over! The SEC has thrown a fit and appealed, demanding further attention-by August 15, no less. Meanwhile, the shrewd lawyer Bill Morgan wonders if SEC chairman Paul Atkins is enough of a puppet master to sway the vote. Oh, the drama!

After the big rally, Litecoin (LTC) finally hit its technical ceiling near $130. You know, that place where it always seems to get stuck. Despite the rejection, the market still looks bullish with solid support below. The next few days will tell us if LTC is going to take a nap or make another run at it. 🏃‍♂️💨

What’s behind this miraculous recovery, you ask? Gains in balance sheet holdings and a stellar performance by its global markets division, apparently. But let’s not forget the real star of the show: their Bitcoin stash. By the end of Q2, Galaxy was sitting pretty with 17,102 BTC (valued at $1.95 billion). That’s up from 13,704 BTC in Q1-a cheeky addition of 4,272 coins. Someone’s been busy stacking sats! 💰

Fartcoin [FARTCOIN] is trying to bounce back after an unfortunate drop, now lingering near the yearly and monthly open like a reluctant guest at a party.

Apparently, the White House is drafting an executive order that’ll make banks think twice before giving crypto firms the cold shoulder. (Yes, even you, JPMorgan, with your fancy suits and your “we’re too good for blockchain” attitude.) 🏦😒 The Trump administration-yes, *that* Trump-is leading the charge, threatening to slap banks with fines so hefty they’ll wish they’d just invested in Dogecoin instead. 🐕💰

In a recent parlor conversation prerecorded for something called a “podcast,” Checkmate shared nostalgic tales of the not-so-distant bear market recovery. Picture, if you will, the year 2023: traders hiding under desks, haunted by the lingering apparition of Sam Bankman-Fried, expecting the value of Bitcoin to drift to zero faster than Uncle Vanya’s hopes for happiness.

For those fortunate enough to grace this gathering, the after-parties promise to be nothing short of legendary! 🎉 But let us not kid ourselves; even the most meticulous planner will find it impossible to consume every morsel of wisdom on offer. Accept this truth: you shall miss some events. Yet, fear not! For I present to you the four events that you simply cannot afford to overlook at Blockchain Rio. They are the shining jewels in a crown that sparkles from the opening keynote to the final beat of the closing party.

Enter the dream team-or as I like to call them, the “$10bn Tokenization Avengers.” 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️ This quartet includes Mavryk (a Layer-1 blockchain that’s more RWA-focused than a hoopy frood), MultiBank (a derivatives giant that’s probably got more money than the entire Magrathea economy), MAG Group (Dubai’s real estate wizards), and Fireblocks (the custody kings who secure more trillions than Zaphod Beeblebrox has brains). Together, they’re aiming to make property ownership as accessible as a towel in the Hitchhiker’s universe. 🌍🏢

In a YouTube video-yes, the very same platform where cats play pianos-Nazarov chirped that the CRE “can have the same impact that the EVM had on the blockchain industry.” Oh, the EVM! That old chestnut! It’s like comparing a unicycle to a spaceship, but who are we to argue? 🚀 The EVM, you see, made smart contracts as easy as pie, turning months of toil into weeks of fun. And now, the CRE wants to do the same, but with a sprinkle of Chainlink magic! ✨