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By July 31, any shareholder possessing an optimistic temperament or a taste for risk had discovered that the stock lost half its value in 2025-hardly a feat for the company brochure. The sinking ship, however, may not have reached the ocean floor; further turbulence is as likely as an accountant’s love for paperwork. Should the prudent citizen cross to the opposite side of the street at the sight of UNH stock, or is there a cunning angle for the connoisseur of neglected assets?

The reason? Simple. Voyager is bleeding cash like a stuck pig, with years of expenses ahead before it even THINKS about putting a station in orbit. And even then, profitability is as likely as finding sobriety at a Vegas bachelor party.

Chevron, for a time, wrestled with shadows – a troublesome merger, a political entanglement in the distant lands of Venezuela. Such things are the cost of doing business on a scale where fortunes are measured in continents. It appears, for now, that these discords have settled, leaving the company to offer a dividend yield of 4.5%, a small respite for those who seek a return on the relentless churning of the market. The common rate hovers around 3.4%, a pittance in these times.

Their missive, delivered this morning, boasted of earnings exceeding expectation – a minor triumph, to be sure, yet one often finds such boasts a prelude to a deeper, more unsettling disappointment. It appears demand has been… *shifted*, shall we say, expedited from the subsequent quarter, leaving the third quarter looking rather desolate, failing to meet the anticipations of those who spend their days conjuring figures from thin air.

After releasing earnings that modestly outperformed consensus estimates, accompanied by constructive guidance, the company’s trajectory appears to navigate the choppy waters of semiconductor equipment demand. Yet, such wins-be they in guidance or bookings-must be weighed against the persistent, if diminishing, headwinds stemming from year-ago declines and broader macroeconomic uncertainties.

The second quarter’s curtain rose on a tableau vividly painted in dollar signs: adjusted diluted earnings per share of $0.78, with nearly $14.7 billion in revenue. These were numbers positively baroque in their excess, outpacing consensus estimates as if consensus had arrived embarrassingly underdressed. FactSet, bless them, was caught $0.20 and over $1 billion out. Such charming imprecision.