Enter the oracle known as Doctor Profit, who cautions that the dominant cryptocurrency could still wade into the 70,000 zone, pointing to a sudden, gargantuan injection of liquidity by the U.S. Federal Reserve as a red cape to a very excited bull. The suggestion: the liquidity wand might frighten other risk assets into behaving badly. 🪄💸
The so-called “Santa Claus rally” has long been a ritual-a five-day truce between greed and despair. From 1950 to 2025, the S&P 500 (now ^GSPC +0.55%) managed to rise 78% of the time in this period, averaging 1.3% gains. It was a fragile hope, like a candle in a gale.
The SEC filing arrived like an unsolicited email from a former flame: “Just wanted to let you know I sold everything.” Goodman Financial, based in Houston (of course), unloaded 283,456 shares of ABM Industries for $13.07 million. The average closing price? A number so precise it might as well be a social security digit. I half-expected a follow-up about rebalancing their portfolio or, worse, a holiday card.
Goodman Financial Corp, that most diligent of institutional investors, has finally admitted defeat in the LKQ saga. On Thursday, they filed with the SEC to divest their entire holding of 355,108 shares in this once-beloved auto parts purveyor. The transaction, valued at $10.85 million using quarterly average pricing, reads like the sad end to a long-term relationship: “We both knew it was time. You’re not… growing.” [LKQ +0.42%]
Putting it all together, rewrite each paragraph with Wodehouse’s flair, inject humor and sarcasm, add emojis, and ensure the structure is correct. Also, check that all
everyone. From smart meters to medical devices. If it’s “smart,” they want in.
Tether, the crypto equivalent of a “I’m Not Like Other Stablecoins” Instagram post, has teamed up with the UN to make Africa’s crypto market safer. Because nothing says “trust us” like a global organization and a company that’s basically just a digital version of a piggy bank. 🤯 Interpol just found $260 million in crypto … Read more
one misstep, and the whole thing collapses. Fortunately, so far, the blocks haven’t slid.
Three such tokens, each a cipher in the generative AI edifice, demand your attention. Their names are etched in the annals of financial orthodoxy, yet their logic remains as opaque as the labyrinth itself. Proceed with caution. The path forward is not a road, but a filing cabinet of interlocking fates.
But wait, there’s more! VanEck’s wizards of finance also predict Bitcoin will settle up to 10% of global trade and cozy up to 2.5% of central bank reserves as the ultimate monetary hedge. Because, you know, who needs gold when you can have digital gold? 🏦✨