Lo, Solana strives to transform $140 from foe to friend, yet the $144 summit remains a stubborn wall, tested thrice in a month! Since mid-November, this coin hath danced betwixt $120 and $144, a waltz of weakness amidst tempestuous tides. A mere mortal would weep at such indecision.
Abu Dhabi-focused Solana infrastructure firm Solmate (SLMT) has signed a non-binding term sheet to acquire digital asset firm RockawayX in an all-stock deal that would create an institutional crypto group with more than $2 billion in assets and third-party stake. Because why not? 🤝
The Big Switcheroo
The Bitcoin-centric phantasmagoria known as Twenty One Capital marches toward its NYSE listing like a drunken sailor toward a bar, ticker “XXI” affixed to its forehead. The merger with Cantor Equity Partners (CEP), a SPAC of dubious repute, shall conclude Dec. 8, pending the usual bureaucratic incantations.
XRP ($XRP), that spectral wraith of the crypto cosmos, has returned to the spotlight, where traders perform a frenzied tango of speculation: Will it soar to $3 or collapse into the $1.20 abyss? 🕺💃
American Bitcoin (ABTC) is playing it smart, folks. Instead of wasting money on management extravaganzas, they’re investing in miners and buying Bitcoin like it’s a box of Magic Cards. The big idea? Each share should be like a tiny Bitcoin vending machine – more sats, more fun! Because who needs profits when you can have… more Bitcoin per share?
BlackRock isn’t merely whispering about ‘mega forces’ anymore; they’re gallantly positioning themselves at their very helm.
Krotinsky and Dheeraj, once toiling in Citadel’s ivory towers, claim their epiphany struck while attempting to pay users of a Reddit-like platform. Ah, the struggles of the modern alchemist! Now, they proclaim Fin as “the payments app of the future,” a phrase so grand it could only be uttered with a straight face in a world gone mad. 🌌😂
24h volatility: 7.5%-that’s more dramatic than a Shakespearean tragedy. Market cap: $5.92B-still a lot of money, but not as much as it was. Vol. 24h: $1.38B-less than a week’s worth of coffee for the crypto crowd. ☕
Rodriguez and Hill, sentenced in November to five and four years respectively for conspiring to operate an unlicensed money-transmitting business (a crime that sounds suspiciously like “being slightly less boring than a tax accountant”), face incarceration in early 2026 unless a pardon descends from the heavens like a crypto-filled manna. Their plea deal-admitting guilt to “conspiring” while dodging laundering charges-reads like a modernist play where the plot is optional.
