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The modern investor, alas, seems to believe diversification is merely the frantic scattering of seeds upon barren ground, hoping something will sprout. A sensible approach, perhaps, but one lacking in…poetry. A true diversification, I submit, requires a ballast—a steady, dependable presence against the prevailing winds of fortune. And a company’s capacity to consistently return capital to its shareholders—to offer a modest, reliable return—is, in these turbulent times, a virtue bordering on the heroic.

Nvidia, that most successful of companies, has, since 2023, held a rather enviable position atop the artificial intelligence investment lists. And with good reason. It possesses the tools – those remarkable graphics processing units – with which the very fabric of this new digital reality is woven. Its ascent to becoming the world’s most valuable company is no accident; it is the inevitable consequence of possessing that which everyone desires.

Growth ETFs, specifically, are designed to… outperform. A polite way of saying they aim to do better than everyone else. Nobody, of course, can actually guarantee future performance. The market is a fickle beast, prone to tantrums and sudden changes of heart. But one particular fund, it seems to me, has a rather good chance of leaving the venerable S&P 500 trailing in its wake. Not by a little, either.

They’ve been rather aggressive with those annual dividend increases and share repurchases. Over the last four payouts, we’re talking $0.82 a quarter, $3.28 annually. That’s a 17% jump from last year. 17%! And 90% higher than it was five years ago. They’re practically throwing money at us. (Don’t tell my accountant I said that.)

We are presented with two contenders: the Vanguard Total Stock Market ETF (VTI 0.01%) and the iShares Core S&P Total U.S. Stock Market ETF (ITOT 0.06%). On superficial inspection, they appear identical—a distressing lack of originality, wouldn’t you agree? But as any seasoned observer of human nature—or, indeed, financial markets—knows, the devil resides not in the broad strokes, but in the meticulous details.

The figures, when one gets down to brass tacks, are positively staggering. The International Energy Agency, those diligent chaps, estimate that data centers alone could be gobbling up nearly a thousand terawatt-hours by 2030. A quantity that, frankly, leaves one reaching for the smelling salts. The United States, therefore, finds itself in the position of a gentleman desperately in need of a larger waistcoat – a prodigious amount of power is required, and with some haste.

Micron’s the big dog in high-bandwidth memory (HBM) – the stuff that makes those AI processors tick. All this AI infrastructure building? It’s like a digital gold rush, and Micron’s selling the shovels. Or, you know, the memory. Same difference. Last fiscal year, they pulled in $37.38 billion in revenue, up from $25.11 billion the year before. Earnings per share? Skyrocketed from $1.30 to $8.29. I’m starting to feel bad for anyone who didn’t invest. Just a little.

The company, it appears, has been bolstered by the acquisition of BlueHalo. A curious pairing, like a meticulous watchmaker joining forces with a purveyor of slightly-used fireworks. BlueHalo, with its expertise in matters of space, cybernetics, and energies directed with a certain…force, now mingles with Aerovironment’s dedication to all things that fly without a pilot. The result? A broadened scope, they say. I suspect it is more akin to a sprawling, overgrown garden, where one struggles to discern the roses from the weeds.

This has led to a bit of a frenzy around stocks like NuScale Power (SMR +6.83%) and Nano Nuclear Energy (NNE +6.86%). Both went on a tear last year, then took a little tumble. Volatility, they call it. I call it a good excuse to buy low and blame the market when it doesn’t work out. Don’t tell my broker I said that.