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BONK has taken a breather after its epic rally, but no signs of a top yet.

Circle Internet Group (NYSE: CRCL), those intrepid pioneers of the digital frontier, have joined forces with the crypto exchange OKX in a strategic partnership that promises to make the world a more wondrous place, one USDC conversion at a time.

It was through the most modern of missives, his social media channels, that President Trump did proclaim this action in a letter most formal, directed to the President of Brazil, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva. The missive was no mere pleasantry, but rather a pointed critique of Brazil’s “unfair trade practices,” with particular scorn for the Brazilian Supreme Court’s handling of the former President, Jair Bolsonaro. The unfortunate soul, presently embroiled in a trial for inciting an anti-democratic coup attempt, surely hath drawn the ire of his political adversaries.

On the 9th day of July—mark the date, scribes—Bitcoin (BTC) lurched forward, a 2% upward spasm, toppling its own record from May like a toppled Lenin bust ($111,970—who counts money in such an age?). Skepticism gnashed its teeth. Short interest, bulging to $35 billion, stood muster on the eve, while technical signals blinked their warnings as if this cosmic jest still operated on rational principles. Bears, so sure they would waltz at the funeral pyre, instead found themselves dancing the forced kazachok of the squeezed.

The attacker employed an intricate strategy—first extracting USDC, then converting it into ETH, and eventually shifting a portion into DAI. Additional tokens, including FRAX, WBTC, and WETH, were also swept in the exploit. Complex token swaps and cross-chain transactions were used to fragment and conceal the loot.

The facts: GMX (GMX) thudded down to $10.20, its lowest since April 7—a throwback no one was nostalgic for. That’s almost 40% erased since its July high, and now 76% cheaper than that dazzling November peak. You know, for bargain hunters who love a little existential dread with their portfolio.

Swanning into the spotlight is BioSig Technologies (Stock symbol: BSGM, for those who only do ticker talk), which just merged with Streamex Exchange. Anyone else thinks “Streamex” sounds like a protein shake or a high-tech Hoover? Me too. Anyway, they’re raising a jaw-dropping $1.1 billion to conjure into existence a fantasyland where you can own a whiff of a gold bar through something called “tokenization.” Because heaven forbid you trip over an actual gold bar on your way to making your morning coffee.

Ripple has decided to apply for a national banking charter through the U.S. Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC), and this could be a game changer for the company. If they get the license, they’ll be able to offer digital asset custody, payment settlement infrastructure, and tokenization services under U.S. banking law. This move shows that Ripple is serious about bridging the gap between crypto and traditional finance, and investors are taking notice.

But fear not, dear reader, for this is not the end of our tale. Oh no, for a bullish rotation from this zone could trigger a 200% rally toward $22.98, a veritable golden egg, if confirmed. The question, of course, is will it? Will the Trump Coin, that great shape-shifter, transform from a frog to a prince, or will it remain, well, a frog? 🐸

Now, let’s not forget the glaring truth nestled within Trump’s high-decibel demands. You see, the US is shelling out a staggering $1.2 trillion in annual interest, which translates to a wallet-purging $3.3 billion a day! Can you imagine that amount juxtaposed with your own bank statement? One could buy a small island with that sort of cash, or at the very least, a lifetime supply of avocado toast. 🥑