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The so-called ‘Crypto Fear & Greed Index’ currently registers a meager thirteen out of a possible one hundred. A desolate figure. One might interpret this as a signal of profound systemic malfunction – a premonition of further decline. Or, if one possesses a temperament inclined towards a darker optimism, it may represent the nadir of investor capitulation. A point beyond which further despondency becomes… improbable. It is a state of suspended disbelief, a collective holding of breath before the inevitable exhale.

And the unpleasantness continues into 2026. Investors, bless their anxious hearts, are particularly agitated about the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services’ proposed payment increase for Medicare Advantage plans. Or rather, the distinct lack of one. A paltry 0.09% – one almost feels sorry for the accountants. The question, therefore, is this: is another shoe about to drop? Is the dividend, that comforting little ritual, about to be curtailed?

The matter, however, is not so simple as mere numerical value. A pressure exists, a subtle insistence emanating from the very foundations of the Dow Jones Industrial Average. It is a pressure not of logic, but of… weighting. Imagine, if you will, a scale delicately balanced, and upon it, the entire American economy. Microsoft, by virtue of its price, exerts a disproportionate influence. A most peculiar arrangement, wouldn’t you agree?

Those student loans, however, proved to be a particularly capricious mistress. A moratorium, imposed from March 13, 2020, and extended with the languid grace of a particularly indulgent monarch, suspended payments and the accrual of interest until September 1, 2023. SoFi, in a rather plaintive legal filing, lamented a loss of between $300 and $400 million in revenue, and a further $150 to $200 million in profit, all thanks to this protracted period of fiscal dormancy. One pictures the company’s accountants, adrift in a sea of unrealized income, sketching elaborate fantasies of compound interest.

The numbers are rather alarming, actually. Trailing twelve months? 670% to 6,217%. Honestly. It feels…unearned. Like finding £20 in an old coat pocket, only multiplied by several thousand. I suppose someone made a fortune. But the rest of us? We’re just along for the ride, hoping we don’t end up splattered against the wall when it crashes. Units of Quantum Hope Acquired: Several. Units of Rational Thought Employed: Questionable.

However, a slight wrinkle has presented itself. The valuation, you see, has been soaring to heights that might give a more cautious investor the vapors. This has kept a few potential buyers at bay, and even prompted some existing shareholders to consider a hasty retreat, fearing a slump in demand. A bit of a pickle, really. It’s always the way, isn’t it? Just when things seem to be going swimmingly, a little cloud appears on the horizon.

Let’s be clear: we’re not talking about a simple case of ‘cars that drive themselves’. We’re talking about a complete reimagining of personal transportation, a system where you simply exist and are then conveyed to your desired location. It’s a concept so alien to our current experience that it requires a significant mental recalibration. (It’s a bit like trying to explain the internet to a particularly stubborn badger. Possible, but requiring an extraordinary amount of patience and a detailed diagram involving biscuits.)

This isn’t just a few pennies, you understand. It’s the largest tax grab, as a percentage of the entire national pudding, since 1993. The fellow in charge seems to think that making everything a bit more expensive is a brilliant idea. A bit like thinking that adding slugs to your lemonade will make it more refreshing. It’s a most peculiar sort of logic.