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Here’s the thing about Q2: UiPath coughed up $362 million in revenue, a 14.4% bump that’d make most SaaS zombies weep with joy. Adjusted EPS tripled from $0.04 to $0.15 – which sounds impressive until you realize we’re talking about financial progress from “living in a van” to “studio apartment with roaches.” The real kicker? Annualized recurring revenue’s up 11%, and management’s projecting $1.834B midpoint ARR by year-end. That’s 10.2% growth when you squint right.

First, the analysts spoke. Seaport Research, that modern-day oracle of market sentiment, downgraded AMD from “buy” to “neutral,” citing whispers from supply chain gossips about slowing AI chip growth. It’s the investing equivalent of a doctor murmuring, “Hmm, your vital signs look fine, but that new diet might be… questionable.”

The company’s fortunes have been buoyed, curiously, by the U.S. jobs report-a document so routinely misinterpreted by markets that it now reads like a sacred text to the financially unmoored. The Bureau of Labor Statistics, in its infinite wisdom, reported 22,000 non-farm jobs added in August, a figure so far below the 75,000 forecast that it might as well have been a eulogy for economic optimism. Yet here we are, celebrating the apocalypse as a catalyst.

This decline wasn’t entirely random, mind you. No, it was fueled by two major forces: jobs data so weak it could barely hold up its own trousers, and insider sales that made investors wonder whether they were being sold snake oil-or perhaps something even less useful, like enchanted toads’ eyeballs.^[1]

Now, what could possibly account for such a kerfuffle? Ah, dear reader, the answer lies in a veritable cocktail of bearish catalysts. First up, the U.S. jobs report arrived like an unwelcome guest at a garden party, bearing news far less rosy than anticipated. Just 22,000 nonfarm jobs were added-a figure so paltry it would make even the most optimistic economist clutch their pearls. True, this softness does lend credence to whispers of an interest rate cut from the Federal Reserve, but investors, being the nervous Nellies they are, seem more concerned about the broader implications for the economy. A dashedly tricky situation, what!

Nektar’s rezpegaldesleukin, a promising contender in the battle against alopecia areata and atopic dermatitis, has been graced with not one but two fast-track designations from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The first came in February for atopic dermatitis, and the second arrived like an encore at the end of July for severe to very severe alopecia areata. One might say the FDA has taken quite a shine to Nektar’s wares, though whether the market will follow suit remains to be seen.