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In a twist as unexpected as finding a cactus in a kitchen, the fund now finds itself packed up, closing shop shortly after McCann unveiled his grandiose plan for a $1 billion Solana treasury initiative. Timing? What timing! Critics are sharpening their pencils, eagerly circling like vultures waiting for a feast. 🦅

Behold, the tokens flee exchanges like startled sparrows, 693,000 of them in a week—evidence of accumulation so fervent, one might mistake it for a cult. StableCoinX, with its $5 million daily buyback ritual (a siren song for wallets), ensures demand’s pulse quickens. Futures markets, ever the speculative gluttons, swell with open interest, while TVL and protocol usage grow, whispering, “Adoption is afoot.” Or is it just a mirage? 😏

Behold! On July 23, U.S.-listed spot Bitcoin ETFs bled $86 million in net outflows, according to SoSoValue data. This marks the third consecutive day of losses—a sharp reversal from their glorious 12-day inflow streak earlier this week. Oh, how fortunes change! 💔

Pippen, who may or may not have had tea with Satoshi Nakamoto in a dream (what a soirée that must have been!), has offered his followers a veritable smorgasbord of speculative delights. In true showman fashion, he framed his forecasts as a poll, inviting his 729,000 loyal fans to weigh in on what they think will happen by 2026. One can almost hear him saying, “Darlings, place your bets!” 🎲

This week, the intrepid data explorers at Glassnode have ruminated on some valuation models for Ethereum. You know, just the light stuff—Realized Price, True Market Mean, and Active Realized Price. Sounds like your typical dinner discussion, right?