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The fourth-largest coin by market cap, once a titan, now grapples with a 1.63% slump. Yet, like a stubborn peasant in Gorky’s Russia, its exchange reserves shrink by 0.44%-a silent revolt against sellers. “Ha! Take that!” the data seems to shout. 🤷♂️

The Nigerian government, ever the vigilant guardian of fiscal order, has begun its grand quest to track crypto earnings under the Nigeria Tax Administration Act (NTAA) 2025. The new law, a labyrinth of red tape, allows the government to track citizens’ earnings using their Tax Identification Number (TIN) and National Identification Number (NIN). 🧩

The partnership between Polymarket and the Golden Globes is the sort of scandal with champagne bubbles: a question mark about whether this is the new normal for awards season. Oh, darling, if accuracy wears a tuxedo, this brawl of bets is wearing sequins. 💄💬

🔸 ~0.45s block times for quicker confirmations 🕒

CryptoQuant’s Exchange Reserve data, that grim oracle of liquidity, revealed a sharp decline in SHIB’s on-exchange supply, a descent as inevitable as the sun’s descent into the void. 🌅

In a 9 January letter, Ripple argued that crypto regulation should follow “the lifespan of the obligation” – which, in simpler terms, means “please stop treating XRP like a never-ending party invite.” 🎉

This phase began back in November 21, a date that now feels both ancient and yet agonizingly recent, like a bad hangover from a time you can’t remember. It’s a cooling period, sure, but not in the “oh, this is comfortable” way-more like the “I’ve left the oven on and I’m too terrified to check” kind of chill. 🌡️ Bitcoin saw a bounce, followed by a slightly higher low and a marginally higher high, before drifting back toward the middle of its recent range, because of course it did. Why take a side when you can just hover ambiguously?

Ripple posits that future regulations should hinge on solid legal rights and enforceable obligations, rather than on those nebulous concepts that seem to drift about like lost sheep-forever changing and utterly untrustworthy. 🐑

The press release, dated Jan. 12, arrived like a telegram from a distant relative: urgent, cryptic, and laced with desperation. Chairman Thomas “Tom” Lee, a man who once dreamed of space travel but now counts decimals for a living, implores shareholders to vote YES on increasing authorized shares. The threshold? A precise 50.1% of outstanding shares. Such precision in a world of chaos! 🤡