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To suggest that Medtronic has ‘peaked’ would be premature. Yet, a more accurate assessment reveals a corporation undergoing a necessary, if painful, restructuring. The prospect of continued growth remains, but it is no longer the unrestrained ascent of prior years. For the discerning investor, particularly those seeking a durable income stream, a careful examination of Medtronic’s current trajectory is warranted.

Now, Bloom’s been fiddlin’ with these boxes for two decades, but the stock? Whew. It’s gone positively ballistic lately. Up 550% in the last year? That’s not a growth stock, that’s a rocket ship piloted by a caffeinated squirrel. And as of January 16th? Up 72% year-to-date. Folks, that’s enough to make a seasoned investor question reality. Which, naturally, is what I do for a livin’.

And, most astonishingly, they claim a growth in sales at existing locations – a 4.9% increase, they boast – while the very nation seems to have lost its appetite for fast-food frivolities. A decline of 1.1%, they say, in the general consumption of hastily prepared meals. One suspects a phantom diner, a spectral gourmand, is single-handedly propping up the industry. The executives, of course, lament the “challenging macroeconomic conditions,” a phrase as hollow and worn as a beggar’s shoe. They speak of “pinched consumers,” as if the very act of purchasing a burger is now a form of self-flagellation.

Between these two, which holds the more promising root system for the long term? The question isn’t merely of balance sheets, but of a quiet, unfolding story.

The modern investor, alas, seems to believe diversification is merely the frantic scattering of seeds upon barren ground, hoping something will sprout. A sensible approach, perhaps, but one lacking in…poetry. A true diversification, I submit, requires a ballast—a steady, dependable presence against the prevailing winds of fortune. And a company’s capacity to consistently return capital to its shareholders—to offer a modest, reliable return—is, in these turbulent times, a virtue bordering on the heroic.

Nvidia, that most successful of companies, has, since 2023, held a rather enviable position atop the artificial intelligence investment lists. And with good reason. It possesses the tools – those remarkable graphics processing units – with which the very fabric of this new digital reality is woven. Its ascent to becoming the world’s most valuable company is no accident; it is the inevitable consequence of possessing that which everyone desires.

Growth ETFs, specifically, are designed to… outperform. A polite way of saying they aim to do better than everyone else. Nobody, of course, can actually guarantee future performance. The market is a fickle beast, prone to tantrums and sudden changes of heart. But one particular fund, it seems to me, has a rather good chance of leaving the venerable S&P 500 trailing in its wake. Not by a little, either.

They’ve been rather aggressive with those annual dividend increases and share repurchases. Over the last four payouts, we’re talking $0.82 a quarter, $3.28 annually. That’s a 17% jump from last year. 17%! And 90% higher than it was five years ago. They’re practically throwing money at us. (Don’t tell my accountant I said that.)