This valuation milestone-yes, it’s a thing, and no, it doesn’t involve any hobbits-is a clear signal that institutional investors are developing an insatiable appetite for banking models that cater to crypto enthusiasts, AI aficionados, and those who just can’t get enough of stablecoins. Meanwhile, the Justice Department regulators are racing ahead like a herd of turtles toward chartering the company. 🐢💨
Amid this carnival of pessimism, one entity dares to stand apart: Bitmine, that digital asset mining and investment vehicle helmed by the indefatigable Tom Lee. While the masses cower in their bunkers, Bitmine has apparently decided that now is the hour to double down on Ethereum, accumulating a cool 13,412 ETH, or roughly $40.61 million. One can only imagine the scene: Lee, quaffing a glass of claret, declaring, “Fear? Nonsense! This is merely the market’s way of offering us a discount!” 🥂
Stealka, the new infostealer, was identified in November 2025. That’s like last week in internet time. It’s delivered as “harmless” game add-ons or utility cracks. Because nothing says “I’m trustworthy” like a suspicious file named “Free Cheats.exe.” 🤡
In the labyrinthine corridors of SEC filings dated November 12, 2025, a truth emerged: $79.48 million now pulsed through Requisite’s veins like liquid stardust, a 13.34% stake in GPIQ that hummed with the paradox of modern finance. Here was a fund promising orchards of income while tethering itself to the Nasdaq’s fickle whims-a dance partner both dazzling and dangerous.
The November 12 SEC filing reveals a strategic shift in asset allocation. By expanding its GPIX holding to 2.05 million shares ($106.77 million), Requisite has positioned the ETF as its second-largest exposure. This move signals a recalibration toward income generation amid persistent market volatility.
What Happened
BeInCrypto, that intrepid scribe, has scrutinized three such altcoins, whose fates hang in the balance as Christmas 2025 looms. 🕯️
Lo! Trump Media & Technology Group (DJT) has once again bolstered its Bitcoin horde, acquiring 451 BTC, a sum of $40.3M, as per the whispers of Lookonchain.
This acquisition lifts the company’s Bitcoin treasures to 11,542 BTC, a fortune valued near $1.04B, according to Arkham Intelligence’s oracle.
Athos Capital, that spectral hand in the market’s glove, unfurled a new position in TXNM Energy (TXNM +0.30%) on September 30, its tendrils coiling around 142,842 shares. The Form 13F, filed on November 12, was a mere parchment-a record of intent, not of passion. This stake, 5.06% of the fund’s $159.62 million in reportable assets, was a pebble tossed into a pond. The ripples, however, were not yet visible.
To the uninitiated, the numbers might seem a ledger of losses: $12.02 per share where once there were higher peaks; a net income of ($320 million) over trailing twelve months; a S&P 500 that strides forward while Chemours lags, a limping figure in the grand procession. Yet within these figures lies a paradox-the very essence of markets where value is not merely measured, but imagined. Alta Fundamental Advisers, in acquiring 800,000 shares representing 5.41% of their U.S. equity assets, has cast its lot with a company whose fate now hangs in the balance between cyclical misfortune and structural decay.
