United Launch Alliance, that joint venture of Boeing and Lockheed Martin, announced the sudden resignation of its president, Tory Bruno, after a dozen years steering its course. No reason was given, only gratitude for his service. A placeholder took his place, as if the company itself had been struck mute.
Our dear old Bitcoin, after a wild rollercoaster ride through 2025 – ending in the red, mind you – has decided to play it cool at the start of 2026. Think of it as the crypto version of ‘Netflix and chill,’ but with more zeros and less romance. Despite the US-Venezuela geopolitical soap opera, BTC remains resilient above the magic $90K – probably because it’s the only thing left to do in this market, really. 🧐
RWR’s 0.25% fee feels like a boutique hotel’s “resort charge”-annoying but forgivable when the mini-bar’s dividend yield pours you a 3.78% cocktail. SCHH, meanwhile, serves the same drink at a 3.04% tab with a 0.07% service fee. Barry, ever the romantic, insisted “I want the one that smells like money.” I nodded. He’d made the same mistake with his wedding venue.
Turns out, this wasn’t all sensible people discussing sensible things. Oh no. A ridiculous 1,224% increase in 🤖 BOT ACTIVITY 🤖 had clogged up the works. Honestly, bots! They’re worse than wasps at a picnic.
Polygon (POL), that wily trickster, has jumped each day this year, hovering at its highest level since November 11, as if it had stumbled upon a magical elixir of financial vigor. It has soared by over 80% from its lowest point this year, a resurrection worthy of a Gogol novella. 🧙♂️✨
Data from S&P Global Market Intelligence paints a picture of a stock rising like a hot-air balloon, tethered only by the whims of tech hype. The chart below shows its slow crawl, then leap-mirroring the Nasdaq’s frenzy, but with more caffeine. Yet one wonders: when the bubble bursts, will AppLovin’s ascent prove a ladder to the stars or a scaffold for the fall?
The recent price action of Bitcoin has been as indecisive as a dandy at a hat shop. The market, ever the coquette, refuses to commit to a definitive direction. 🎩💔
Calculations based on SEC Form 4 and market close prices-precisely the sort of arithmetic that makes one long for a gin and tonic.
Transaction value based on SEC Form 4 reported price ($40.15); post-transaction value based on Dec. 23, 2025 market close ($40.15).
It appears, dear reader, that the good folks at Pump.fun have come to the realization that their fee structure was as unbalanced as a debutante after her first sip of champagne. 🥂 The creators, it seems, were not providing the sustainable outcomes one might hope for, and the founder, a certain Alon, took to the modern parlour of X to declare the system’s failings with a gravity most becoming. 🧐