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The paperwork, filed with the SEC on the 28th of January, shows they unloaded 96,518 shares of this here FTSM. Calculated by the last figures they declared, it amounted to that $5.78 million. Seems a bit like selling off the rocking chair to buy a steam engine, if you ask me, but who am I to judge a man’s spending habits?

Then came the iPhone 17. Or whatever number we’re on now. It’s a phone. It makes calls. It takes pictures of your lunch. But, oh, the demand. The breathless reports. You’d think they’d invented sliced bread, or, you know, something genuinely useful. Frankly, I was bracing for disappointment. I mean, it’s Apple. They’re very good at making us want things we don’t need.

The fund, managed by Mr. Jones, has seen a rather vulgar surge in its gold allocation – nearly half again. The SPDR Gold ETF, a convenient vessel for those seeking refuge from…well, from everything, has blossomed. It ascended by a preposterous 64% last year, and already shows a disturbing eagerness to climb further in 2026. The metal itself has breached the $5,000 mark – a psychological barrier, no doubt, but one built on foundations of…what exactly? Hope? Fear? The dwindling faith in paper promises? It is a question best left to the theologians.

It ain’t just Nvidia and AMD sendin’ their work TSMC’s way, neither. Apple, that purveyor of polished gadgets, relies on ’em too. TSMC’s the unseen hand behind a good many of these modern marvels. The designers get all the glory, naturally – a fella can’t help but admire a shiny new toy – but TSMC’s the silent partner, quietly churnin’ out the goods. It reminds me of a fella who builds a fine stagecoach, but it’s the horses that actually get you to your destination.

The filing, dated January 29th, showed they trimmed their position during the fourth quarter. A ten-million-dollar reduction. The stock still sat at $12.79 million in their portfolio, but that was after the market had its say. A net decrease, naturally. Numbers rarely lie, though they can certainly be dressed up for the occasion.

This entity, known as Alphabet (a name that suggests a collection of interesting things, rather than a monolithic corporation), boasts a market capitalization of approximately $4 trillion. (Which is a lot of money. Enough to buy a small planet. Or a really nice yacht. Possibly both, if you’re careful with the depreciation.) The suggestion is that investing a mere $1,000 in this behemoth is a sensible course of action. Let us examine why. (Or, more accurately, why someone is suggesting you examine why.)

The S&P 500 (SNPINDEX: ^GSPC) drifted down 0.17% to 6,966. The Nasdaq Composite (NASDAQINDEX: ^IXIC) fell a bit further, 0.72% to 23,685. Numbers. They mean something to someone, I suppose. Verizon (VZ +1.01%) managed a small gain, closing at $39.81. T-Mobile (TMUS +1.63%) did slightly better, finishing at $189.28. They’re all just selling us connections, one way or another. Assessing competitive positioning, they call it. Network issues. Always network issues. Like trying to hold water in a sieve.

Units of CoreWeave shares purchased: 1. Hours spent refreshing the stock ticker: countless. Number of times I’ve considered just investing in actual servers and setting up my own AI factory in the garden shed: 3. (The garden shed is, admittedly, quite small.)

It is, of course, a truth universally acknowledged that a company in possession of a promising technology must be in want of capital. Joby, having embarked on its public journey in 2020, has experienced a modest 6% increase since then – a rate of ascent that, while not entirely ignominious, is hardly the stuff of legends. One suspects that the market is beginning to discern the difference between aspiration and achievement.