Micron: A Comedy of Errors (and Earnings)

Yes, you heard correctly, folks. Micron nearly tripled its sales year-over-year. Last year they were selling memory chips for pennies, I swear! Now they’re practically printing money! Six hundred and eighty-two percent jump in earnings! GAAP, non-GAAP, who cares? It’s all green! The CEO, this Sanjay Mehrotra, he’s saying they set records. “New records!” he cries. “Across the board!” He’s practically tap-dancing on the balance sheet. And then they raise the dividend by 30%! It’s a generosity unheard of since… well, since my mother offered me a nickel for cleaning the gutters. And what do investors do? Sell! They sell! It’s enough to make a man question the very fabric of reality. Or at least the sanity of Wall Street.






