S&P 500 Soars in 2026: Buy the Dip or Cry in the Corner?

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Fears of an AI bubble (because nothing says “cautious” like naming a financial crisis after a tech trend) and job growth that’s slower than my Wi-Fi on a Tuesday have investors whispering, “Bear market ahead!” But here’s the twist: Buying stocks at all-time highs is like showing up to a party and realizing the host is you. Historically, it’s worked out. Every all-time high was preceded by… another all-time high. It’s like the stock market’s version of a TikTok dance: Just keep swiping right.

Shiba Inu’s 60% Whisper: The Market’s Sigh 😂

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At this moment, SHIB hovers around $0.0000087, a market cap just over $5.1 billion. It sits in the lower reaches of the top twenty, where the difference between ranks is thinner than a rumor in a tavern. In this theater, a single directional shove can redraw the cast without any grand rally shaking the stage.

Bitcoin at 90k: Fed’s $106B Lifeline Sparks Looming 70k Drop?

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Enter the oracle known as Doctor Profit, who cautions that the dominant cryptocurrency could still wade into the 70,000 zone, pointing to a sudden, gargantuan injection of liquidity by the U.S. Federal Reserve as a red cape to a very excited bull. The suggestion: the liquidity wand might frighten other risk assets into behaving badly. 🪄💸

The Unraveling of December’s Illusion

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The so-called “Santa Claus rally” has long been a ritual-a five-day truce between greed and despair. From 1950 to 2025, the S&P 500 (now ^GSPC +0.55%) managed to rise 78% of the time in this period, averaging 1.3% gains. It was a fragile hope, like a candle in a gale.

When Goodman Financial Flipped the Bird to ABM Industries

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The SEC filing arrived like an unsolicited email from a former flame: “Just wanted to let you know I sold everything.” Goodman Financial, based in Houston (of course), unloaded 283,456 shares of ABM Industries for $13.07 million. The average closing price? A number so precise it might as well be a social security digit. I half-expected a follow-up about rebalancing their portfolio or, worse, a holiday card.

LKQ Exit: A Portfolio Manager’s Diary Entry

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Goodman Financial Corp, that most diligent of institutional investors, has finally admitted defeat in the LKQ saga. On Thursday, they filed with the SEC to divest their entire holding of 355,108 shares in this once-beloved auto parts purveyor. The transaction, valued at $10.85 million using quarterly average pricing, reads like the sad end to a long-term relationship: “We both knew it was time. You’re not… growing.” [LKQ +0.42%]

Tether and UN Team Up to Save Africa from Crypto Scams-But Will They?

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Tether, the crypto equivalent of a “I’m Not Like Other Stablecoins” Instagram post, has teamed up with the UN to make Africa’s crypto market safer. Because nothing says “trust us” like a global organization and a company that’s basically just a digital version of a piggy bank. 🤯 Interpol just found $260 million in crypto … Read more