In a recent missive from the oracle known as CryptoQuant, our dear contributor Kripto Mevsimi has unveiled a curious spectacle: the old whales, those grand titans of the crypto sea, have decided to take a nap instead of cashing in their treasures. Meanwhile, the fresh-faced newcomers, the new whales, are basking in the sun, albeit with only a smidgen of profit to show for their efforts.
Eager to make your money work for you (and for them, obviously), the ever-ambitious exchange announced on X (because “Twitter” was too mainstream, I suppose) that it’s running a kitchen-sink crypto giveaway: Towns Protocol (TOWNS), Succinct (PROVE), Euler (EUL), and Mamo (MAMO) have all been tossed into the great whirlwind of ERC-20 options. Move over, Dogecoin – make way for the strange acronyms of the future. 🌪️💸
The second quarter’s curtain rose on a tableau vividly painted in dollar signs: adjusted diluted earnings per share of $0.78, with nearly $14.7 billion in revenue. These were numbers positively baroque in their excess, outpacing consensus estimates as if consensus had arrived embarrassingly underdressed. FactSet, bless them, was caught $0.20 and over $1 billion out. Such charming imprecision.
So, what’s next? Will ETH hit $10K by 2030? Buckle up, buttercup – we’re diving into the chaos of Ethereum’s price prediction 2030. 🚀
In a statement that smells more like a saloon parlor than a court of law, the SEC proclaimed that staking cryptocurrencies through protocols and receiving those liquid tokens as proof of ownership doesn’t count as securities. Who knew? So all that fuss about securities laws and crypto might just be a lot of wind and no pony. 🤠
In their latest announcement, Coinbase casually dropped that Mamo is joining their listing roadmap, which is basically their way of saying, “Hey, we might let you trade this someday. Maybe. No promises.” 🤷♀️
Now, hold your breath: Cronos (CRO) token is hanging around the $0.1347 mark, as it’s been for the last few days. This might sound boring, but here’s the kicker – it’s 74% higher than its lowest point this year. So, it’s not all doom and gloom, folks! Technical indicators are pointing to even more thrilling adventures ahead. 💰
BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust (IBIT)-a name fancier than a preacher’s Sunday hat-just set its own record for losing friends (and dollars) in a single day. Mark my words, if Constable Bob managed the town’s savings like this, he’d be run outta town on a rail.
The company tittered confidentially to TopMob (over cocktails, one assumes) that it parted with approximately $4.89 million to amass this splendid pile of solana (SOL), thus creating a treasury one can only hope is guarded by something suitably dramatic. This purchase, they coyly suggest, supports their oh-so-moody new validator.
This marks Strategy’s third-largest Bitcoin binge since it began hoarding the digital gold five years ago. And naturally, this is excellent news for the crypto glitterati-the presales currently frolicking in the limelight. When institutions like Strategy toss billions into $BTC, it tends to lift market sentiment faster than champagne corks on New Year’s Eve. Cue renewed interest in early-stage projects, darling.