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A potential rate cut, that golden chalice of liquidity, now glimmers in the market’s hand, offering a tailwind to Bitcoin and its altcoin kin. BTC’s market cap, once a humble sapling, now towers above Google and Amazon, claiming sixth place in the global asset pantheon. Only gold and the titans of tech-Apple, Microsoft, Nvidia-stand between it and the crown. Institutions, ever the pragmatists, have thrown their weight behind this surge: MicroStrategy’s Bitcoin hoard swells to $77.2 billion, while El Salvador’s stash glows with an unrealized profit of $468 million. A feast for the greedy, a famine for the cautious. 💰

Should one dissect the inner workings of CNBC’s divine scripts, one might find the stock, with the moniker BLSH, cutting through the air like a celestial being, stopping abruptly at an awe-inspiring $102.44 per share. This spectacle evoked much rumination about the allure of digital riches and the resurgence of hope like spring flowers peering through the frost. Firms, driven as if by some grand orchestra, began flocking to the altar of public offering, under the new watchful eyes of regulators. Oh, what sweet symphony!

“LINK lookin’ like it’s fixin’ for another hurrah,” said Johnny, a crypto trader with over 860,000 followers on the modern-day telegram, X (like the bird, but with more buzz). He posted on Wednesday that the setup’s as bullish as a country preacher on Sunday morning after the coin hit $24.60-glory be! ✨

Observing the XRP’s, ahem, “price chart” (as if one needs a chart to observe a price!), it seems the gentlemen on the buying side have managed to hold their positions. Now that the tiresome affair with the SEC is, at last, concluded, many predictors of the future are anticipating notable gains. While claims of £100 a share are clearly the fancies of an over-imaginative mind – such sums are best left to novels – a more sensible £7 to £10 is now deemed plausible. 🧐

Ethereum, ever the overachiever, has climbed 3.09% in a day and 30% in a week, now trading at $4,762. XRP, meanwhile, is having a “meh” moment with a 3.46% rise to $3.33, while Solana has leapt 4.6% to $206.58-because why not? Dogecoin, the golden retriever of cryptos, is sprinting 7.63% daily and 24.5% weekly, probably in search of a snack. 🐕

Thumzup announced with great pomp and circumstance that it would expand its crypto strategy to include “large-scale cryptocurrency mining and targeted blockchain investments.” Imagine that! A company that once helped you sell more widgets online is now planning to dig digital gold. 🏺✨

Peirce revealed that the SEC staff has been grinding since January on crypto guidance. Yes, while the rest of us have been working tirelessly to perfect our sourdough recipes, SEC’s been busy deciding how to regulate your painfully speculative digital coins. Instead of new laws, we might be getting rules that look suspiciously like the kinds of memos your boss sends and you never read. 📄💁‍♀️

The gist is: Dogecoin printed a “bullish engulfing candle” on the weekly. Translation: it made a green crayon doodle that’s bigger than last week’s red crayon doodle. He says if DOGE can just close above $0.241-roughly the cost of one CVS receipt-we’re officially in the promised land. Hold my chew toy, Shaq. 😂