Imagine, if you will, a world where two cryptocurrencies, XRP and ADA, were locked in a fierce battle for supremacy. For most of last year, they were like two sleepy cats, barely moving. ADA was napping in a cozy range between $0.3 and $0.5, while XRP was dozing off between $0.4 and $0.6, occasionally twitching in its sleep.
Arkham Intelligence, because of course someone as coolly dramatic as Arkham noticed these guys, flagged these Bitcoins tied to Movie2K-a name that’s about as highbrow as a middle-schooler’s playlist. Remember Movie2K? That piracy website everyone loved to love to hate? Well, the operators were nabbed back in 2019, but you’d think German authorities did the World Cup juggling act so smoothly that they left this treasure unopened. Oh, and those 49,858 BTC they did snag earlier? Sold them off last summer when Bitcoin wouldn’t look at them and was sulking at $57,900.
The Pi Coin (PI), as of this seventh day of September, was observed to be trading at a mere $0.3440. A state of affairs it has endured, with remarkable consistency, since the month of August. One wonders if excitement is entirely lacking, or if investors possess a peculiar taste for stagnation.
Enter Thumzup, strutting onto the scene with a $50 million capital raise to purchase 2,500 Dogecoin mining rigs (with dreams of expanding to 3,500). They’re also snapping up DogeHash Technologies, presumably to corner the market on Dogecoin mining chic. At current prices, this operation could rake in anywhere from $22 million to $103 million annually. “Large-scale mining is critical,” quips crypto analyst SeniorDeFi, who sees a potential 72% surge to $0.37. Darling, if only my bank account had such ambitions. 💰
In other news, SHIB’s price took a slight nosedive, dropping down like your grandma after she sits on the last piece of pie. 🍰 Are you kidding me? It couldn’t even hold on to that 1.9% rise from Friday! Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions! 🎢
Now, among these tortured souls, three voices-three seemingly knowing voices-stand up, or rather, speak from their respective silos, proclaiming that they have identified companies that can endure, even thrive, in this strange labyrinth we call the market. Their choices: AbbVie (ABBV), Eli Lilly (LLY), and Johnson & Johnson (JNJ). A comfort, or perhaps a brief illusion, in the unrelenting march of time.
According to the meticulous scribes at S&P Global Market Intelligence, shares of this purveyor of artificial intelligence tumbled by 28.2% in that fateful month. The cause? A pre-announcement, delivered like a cryptic prophecy from an oracle too weary to speak plainly, revealed revenues far below their promised zenith.
Buckle up! BTC is dominating the chatter like a social media influencer. Users are debating its glam status as “digital gold,” long-term investment vibes, and the parade of government and institutional backing. Apparently, everyone’s now into self-custody-sounds so empowering, right? 🛡️
On a day not unlike any other, Friday whispered its secrets in trade disclosures: ARK’s grand trifecta-ARKK, ARKW, ARKF-happened upon a buffet, devouring 387,325 shares of BitMine, about $16 million’s worth, and 143,906 slices of Bullish pie, all tender at $7.5 million. ARKK, the ostentatious heavyweight, claimed the lion’s share, proudly puffing up its chest.
Since its inception, Brookfield has been a one-trick pony with a PhD in that trick. Its funds from operations (FFO) have grown at 14% annually, while dividends climbed 9%. That’s not just growth-it’s growth with a side of glitter. Total returns? A breezy 13.1% annually, leaving the S&P 500’s 11.4% in the dust. And if you’re wondering why I’m so certain? Let’s just say I’ve made enough investment mistakes to know when I’m onto something.