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Last month’s 29.6% plunge wasn’t just a correction-it was a full-blown intervention. The AI infrastructure darling (or “darling” in air quotes) that once made moonshot investors feel like geniuses now feels like that guy who brags about his “systems” at the gym but can’t bench 135. Over 1,000% gain in five years? Cute. But the last year? Flatlined. Like a bad Botox job.

The day saw Immunovant unveil results from its proof-of-concept study, a clinical inquiry into the merits of batoclimab. This drug, still swaddled in the uncertainties of the trial process, seeks to tame the rampant chaos of Grave’s disease-an autoimmune disorder where the body, once a careful keeper of its balance, spirals into an unrestrained overproduction of thyroid hormone. Here, the body becomes a stranger to itself.

Chainlink, you see, is a decentralized oracle network-think of it as the Jeeves of the blockchain world, delivering tamper-proof data to smart contracts across various chains. The Commerce Department’s new venture, which includes GDP figures and the Personal Consumption Expenditures (PCE) gauge, is rather like a dinner party where everyone agrees to use the same menu, ensuring no one sneaks in their own. By pushing this data onto the blockchain, dApps can now reference a single, verifiable source, much like a well-dressed guest who knows precisely where the wine list is kept. In practical terms, this allows for automated loan covenants, payouts, and tokenized assets to update without the need for endless reconciliations. A dashedly clever bit of code, what? The involvement of other data networks only adds to the merriment, suggesting this is no mere parlor trick but a full-blown revolution in the making.

Despite the heavy rain clouds overhead, Sprinklr managed to squeeze out a tiny puddle of growth, earning $212 million in revenue for the quarter-a sprightly 8% increase compared to last year. The company’s subscription revenue was the lion’s share, coming in at nearly $189 million, with a 6% boost that managed to keep things from looking completely miserable.

Here, then, is a story about how to hold these eggs so they don’t burst in your hands.

Let us peer into the murky cauldron of Zscaler’s fiscal 2025 finale, shall we? After the closing bell on Tuesday, the company unveiled numbers that would make even the greediest goblin grin. Revenue swelled by an impressive 21% year-over-year, bubbling up to just over $719 million. And lo and behold, their annual recurring revenue (ARR), that peculiar beast of modern finance, grew at a similarly sprightly pace of 22%, reaching nearly $3.02 billion.

As always in such ventures, the retail investor has played a starring role in this adventure, much like the gold rush prospectors of yore. These investors, many of whom were spurred on by viral social media threads on platforms like X and Reddit, initially jumped on Opendoor’s bandwagon during a brief meme-stock rally. They were convinced that Opendoor was the next Carvana, a fellow business that had danced with doom only to reemerge in a blaze of glory. But of course, hedge fund managers are n…

But the twists and turns didn’t stop there. As if the gods of finance had cast their favor on Opendoor once again, a subpar unemployment report in early August gave rise to hopes that the Fed might act decisively and lower interest rates. Such dreams are often fragile, but in this case, they had legs. The stock shot upwards, pausing only to catch its breath after a less-than-impressive earnings report. But the real kicker came in mid-August, when news that Wheeler was resigning sent the stock soaring….

By August 22nd, the stock had risen by nearly 40%, thanks to Fed Chair Jerome Powell’s Jackson Hole address, which hinted at imminent rate cuts. Such a proclamation is like a symphony to the ears of investors, and Opendoor’s stock surged accordingly, with the price rising again at the start of September. What a curious spectacle this has been! A real-life drama, played out in the heart of the financial markets, complete with rising fortunes, strategic resignations, and interest rate chatter that would…

Can Opendoor Keep Gaining? A Question for the Ages

Now that Opendoor has risen from its depths, the burning question remains: Can it sustain this newfound vitality? It’s a remarkable turnaround, to be sure. Just two months ago, Opendoor was languishing around $0.50 per share, a price so low it could only have been viewed with pity by even the most charitable observer. Now, it hovers at over $5 per share, and the market cap has swelled to $3.8 billion. But like any good story, the ending has yet to be written. The business will need to show tangible im…

After all, as every investor knows, the market is less about the journey and more about the destination. Will Opendoor remain the hero of this saga, or will it collapse under the weight of its own hype? Only time will tell, but for now, the show must go on. 📈