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Turmoil, as one might expect in the best drawing rooms, swept swiftly across the digital landscape. One of Bunni’s own, not unlike poor Mrs. Bennet at the first whispers of scandal, implored all acquaintances to depart at once, lest their fortunes join the mass exodus.

If you think Bitcoin’s 12.8% slide is cause for panic, I reckon you’ve been reading too many headlines and not enough Mark Twain. This dip’s about as alarming as a bear’s sneeze in the grand scheme of things. It’s nestled neatly in the -10% to -18% range-bull markets’ favorite nap spot between rallies.

PeckShield, the blockchain snoopers, spilled the tea on Tuesday, revealing that a user of Venus Protocol, a platform that sounds like some kind of celestial dating app, lost a shocking $27 million worth of crypto. Yep, vanished-poof! All thanks to someone convincing the poor user to give trusted permissions. Because nothing screams “trustworthy” like clicking a suspicious link from an ‘unknown’ sender and signing away your life savings.

At a conference in Dubrovnik, Croatia, she explained that these tokens let you trade smaller fractions of a company 24/7. But guess what? No voting rights. Because why would you need that when you can just… *tokenize* your way through life? 💸

So, what went wrong? Well, it turns out the “sequencer” – the trusty traffic cop of the blockchain world – had a little meltdown. This poor fellow is supposed to organize all the on-chain transactions, lining them up neatly in blocks like an army of ants. But during the outage, the sequencer couldn’t recognize the “Cairo0 code.” Who knew code could be so fussy, right? 😜

Over on X (because Twitter needed a midlife crisis, too), a Shiba Inu-dedicated account, Shibarium (handle: Shibizens), is fan-fictioning their way straight through 2026 with a schedule that feels about as reliable as my mindfulness app’s promise to transform my life.