
Consider the Schwab U.S. Dividend Equity ETF (SCHD), a gentleman of moderate means but impeccable taste. With a trailing yield of 3.8%, it offers a meager but respectable dowry for those who seek stability. Its holdings-Chevron, AbbVie, Altria, and PepsiCo-are not kings, but they are the kind of neighbors who never miss a church service and always pay their rent on time. The fund’s index, that most peculiar Dow Jones U.S. Dividend 100, operates like a bureaucratic committee: it weights its members with the impartiality of a sleep-deprived clerk and ranks them by cash flow as though measuring the worth of a man by the number of boots he owns. And yet! This curious beast has grown by 45% in five years, 130% in ten, as if the very earth beneath it were infertile but the sky above had taken to raining gold coins.