SoFi Stock: Wall Street’s Grotesque Obsession

Yet let us not mistake alchemy for arithmetic. Here lies the kernel of Wall Street’s mania, a riddle wrapped in a ledger.

Yet let us not mistake alchemy for arithmetic. Here lies the kernel of Wall Street’s mania, a riddle wrapped in a ledger.

Now, if you’ve got your eye on Altria, mark the date in your calendar-September 15. That’s when the ex-dividend bell rings, signaling the moment an investor must hold shares to snag the next dividend payday. Sink your teeth into those shares before that date, and you’ll be counting the cash allocated for October 10. It’s a ticking clock, and time doesn’t pause for anyone in this gritty game of stocks.

Yet, for those with a penchant for spotting potential in the most unlikely of candidates-think of it as the stock market’s version of rescuing a promising sapling from the clutches of a well-meaning but overzealous gardener-Navitas might just warrant a second glance. The next five years, one suspects, will see this young upstart don a new suit and strut its stuff with considerably more panache.
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And so, Micron’s stock ascended-no, leapt-an impressive 8.9% by 11:20 a.m. ET, as though drawn skyward by invisible marionette strings. But what lies behind this choreography? Is it substance or shadow?

Spun from the carcass of Caesars Entertainment in 2017, Vici emerged as a REIT-a financial alchemist transforming real estate into a machine of compounding dividends. Its portfolio includes the gilded carcasses of Caesars Palace, the Venetian, and the MGM Grand, monuments to excess now repurposed as assets to be leased, not lived in. In industry jargon, Vici is an “experiential” REIT, a euphemism for profiting from humanity’s hunger for escapism. Yet this is no mere discretionary plaything of capitalism; it is a system of extraction so refined it thrives even as its tenants falter.

This particular wallet, which received 312 BTC back in 2012 when each coin cost about as much as a fancy sandwich ($12.22), is now worth more than most small countries’ GDPs. Back then, this stash would’ve set you back just over $5,400. Today? Oh, nothing too flashy-just north of $35 million. That’s a 640,000% return on investment. You know what else gives you a 640,000% return? Winning the lottery twice while being struck by lightning. But apparently, holding onto Bitcoin works too.

I’ve been watching ATYR climb 40% this year like I watch my mother-in-law’s blood pressure. Up, up, up, with a straight face. But here’s the thing: this stock isn’t a birthday balloon. It’s a lit fuse. And it’s about to meet a match.

The tariffs, those barbed tendrils of policy, have long been a thorn in the side of trade. As Fortune once noted, they are a storm brewing in the harbor, not the open sea. Wall Street, ever the pragmatist, knows this: tariffs gnaw at profit margins like frost on tender shoots and dim the glow of consumer demand. Yet the S&P 500 (^GSPC), that barometer of ambition, climbs. Michelle Gibley of Charles Schwab (SCHW), with the patience of a gardener, reminds us that the economic toll of tariffs is not averted, merely delayed. A seed left too long in the soil will rot.

Mark your calendars: the new deadline is set for November 14, 2025. This move not only highlights the SEC’s meticulous attention to detail but also the growing interest in Solana-based investment products. After all, who doesn’t love a good regulatory tango? 🕺 But let’s be honest, the crypto regulatory framework in the US isn’t exactly a walk in the park-it’s more like a marathon through a bureaucratic maze.
Meanwhile, ETH decided to reclaim the $4,400 mark after a brief dip to $4,305. It’s up nearly 3%, trading around $4,428, because why stay down when you can bounce back like a crypto kangaroo? 🦘 Ripple (XRP) is up almost 2%, reclaiming the $3 level, and Solana (SOL) is up 1.78%, trading around $223. Even Dogecoin (DOGE) is up almost 4%, proving that memes can indeed be money. 🤡 Cardano (ADA) is up 1.57%, and a bunch of other coins like Chainlink (LINK), Stellar (XLM), and Litecoin (LTC) are also having a party. 🎉