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Iridian, it seems, has acquired 1,108,301 additional shares of ACV Auctions, bringing their total stake to a rather robust $23.97 million. A significant commitment, particularly when one considers the prevailing atmosphere of gloom. The market, you see, is frightfully predictable in its panics. It mistakes a temporary inconvenience for a permanent catastrophe. And ACV Auctions, currently trading at a mere $8.62 – a decline of nearly 60% from its former glory – is currently the object of its disdain.

Rambus, it appears, has discovered the virtues of belated adaptation. Where once it pursued a singular vision, it now caters to the insatiable demands of the data centre and, naturally, the all-consuming deity of Artificial Intelligence. This pivot, while hardly original, has proven remarkably effective. The company now derives a substantial 75% of its revenue from chips and intellectual property related to these burgeoning sectors, a figure that has propelled product revenue upwards at a respectable 28% annual pace since 2019. A triumph of pragmatism, one might venture.

Chipotle and Cava also offer things grown from the earth, more or less. But Sweetgreen insists on a certain… earnestness. They’ve even dabbled in robots, thinking automation could solve the fundamental human problem of wanting things done for them. A noble, if misguided, effort.

The rather crucial point, and one that even the most cynical observer must concede, is that ASML’s role in the global chip industry is, shall we say, significant. These extreme ultraviolet (EUV) lithography machines of theirs – frightfully complicated things, I’m told – are what allow one’s customers to manufacture advanced chips. Chips that, rather conveniently, deliver strong computing performance with high power efficiency. A useful combination, wouldn’t you agree?

Both IEMG and ACWX offer a pathway to international equities, yet their approaches differ in a manner most significant. IEMG, with a commendable focus, directs its attentions solely towards the emerging markets – those nations striving towards a more established prosperity. ACWX, on the other hand, casts a wider net, encompassing both the burgeoning and the more settled economies beyond the bounds of the United States. The question, then, is not merely one of returns, but of temperament – which fund best reflects the investor’s own inclinations and tolerance for a degree of speculation?

The numbers, as always, are a bit of a tease. SCHF, the more frugal of the two, boasts an expense ratio of 0.03%. 0.03%! It’s practically giving money away. ACWX, at 0.32%, feels…ambitious. Like it’s trying to fund a small European principality. And the dividend yield? SCHF’s 3.25% is…well, it’s a number. A slightly more appealing number than ACWX’s 2.7%. I keep picturing these percentages as tiny, anxious people, desperately trying to climb a ladder. It’s not a healthy visualization, I admit.

They call it a ‘stock split’, you see, and it sounds terribly important. But really, it’s just a bit of financial trickery. Like rearranging the sweets in a jar – you still have the same amount, but it looks bigger. Investors, bless their cotton socks, get all giddy about it. They imagine it’s a sign of booming business, or that the company is suddenly being generous. It’s usually neither, I assure you.

Many companies have felt the warmth of this new AI spring, but none have flourished quite like Nvidia. They built their foundation on the images flickering across screens – the games we play, the worlds we lose ourselves in. Their graphics processing units, once dedicated to illusion, found a new purpose, a deeper calling. It turns out, those same chips are remarkably suited to the heavy lifting required to nurture these new artificial minds.

Both of these funds chase the same dream: large-cap growth stocks. They’re like two pigeons competing for the same crumb of a very large, potentially poisoned, baguette. VONG tracks the Russell 1000 Growth Index, while MGK follows the CRSP US Mega Cap Growth Index. Sounds thrilling, doesn’t it? It’s like watching paint dry, but with more paperwork. The difference, as we’ll see, is subtle, like the difference between a slightly overcooked and a perfectly cooked goose.