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Apparently, SCHD tracks the Dow Jones U.S. Dividend 100 Index. Which sounds… official. And complicated. It’s all a bit like trying to understand the offside rule in football. The index itself is built on this rather elaborate screening process. First, they only look at companies (excluding REITs, whatever those are) that have consistently increased their dividends for at least a decade. A decade! That’s… commitment. It dramatically narrows things down, which, frankly, is a relief. Less choice is always good, isn’t it? It focuses the whole thing squarely on dividend stocks. Which, in theory, is what I’m after. A little income, a little stability… a little hope.

But even though Warren’s no longer actively twiddling his thumbs and signing off on investments, his influence lingers, like a particularly persistent aunt at a garden party. Last weekend, Berkshire unveiled its fourth-quarter results, and a rather intriguing message emerged: a warning, of sorts, amounting to a tidy $187 billion, suggesting that the time for a bit of caution has arrived. It seems the old boy believes the market is, shall we say, a trifle overexcited.

We propose two reasons, not guarantees, mind you, but possibilities – whispers in the digital wind – that suggest a modest resurgence before the end of June. Consider it a speculation, a calculated gamble, if you will, for those with the stomach for it.

The pitch is, hold it for decades. Decades! Like I have time to think about things in decades. I’m barely planning dinner for tomorrow. But apparently, the idea is to find something that won’t just… vanish. Which, honestly, is a low bar these days. Everything feels temporary. My socks, my cable bill, the concept of politeness… all fleeting.

AGNC Investment, a creature of the modern financial age, operates within the complex realm of mortgage-backed securities. It is a business that thrives on the packaging and repackaging of debt, a practice that, while seemingly ingenious, carries within it the seeds of potential instability. The company, in essence, buys bonds created from the aggregation of home loans, acting as an intermediary between those who seek the security of fixed income and the ever-shifting tides of the housing market. This is not inherently a flawed model; it has provided returns to shareholders. However, to believe that such returns will be consistently delivered, year after year, is to misunderstand the inherent volatility of the underlying assets. The dividend AGNC offers has proven fickle, fluctuating with the fortunes of the mortgage market, a history marked by periods of abundance followed by lean years. A prudent investor seeks not merely a high yield, but a reliable yield, a stream of income that can be counted upon to meet obligations and provide a measure of security. And in this regard, AGNC Investment has, historically, fallen short.

In the year 2013, Bitcoin first attained a value exceeding one hundred dollars – a sum considered quite remarkable at the time. By the close of 2024, it had ascended to a figure surpassing one hundred thousand, a gain of a thousandfold in little more than a decade. Such prosperity, naturally, attracts a multitude of hopefuls.

Analysts, those oracles of the financial world, are collectively predicting Alphabet could climb 29% from its current price, hitting $385 a share. Amazon, meanwhile, is eyed for a 31% jump to $285. Of course, predictions are a bit like weather forecasts – useful, but rarely entirely accurate. Still, it’s a good starting point for a bit of digging.

The latest missives reveal a rather unseemly exodus from Meta Platforms, a company once lauded as the vanguard of social connection. Seven of the more prominent billionaires have deemed its shares insufficiently… diverting. One suspects they’ve discovered that even the most meticulously curated illusions eventually lose their shimmer. To chase fleeting popularity is, after all, a most vulgar pursuit.

Palantir, a name that evokes images of shadowy intelligence gathering (a rather clever bit of branding, wouldn’t you agree?), has seen its earnings ascend with the grace of a well-trained acrobat. CoreWeave, meanwhile, has been posting revenue growth figures that would make a circus strongman blush. Both companies speak of demand so relentless it threatens to overwhelm their servers – a delightful problem to have, wouldn’t you say? Palantir’s stock has performed a five-year waltz, climbing more than 500%. CoreWeave, the newcomer, has managed a respectable 80% ascent since its initial public offering – a brisk trot, if not a full gallop.

Revenue, predictably, increased – a 26% increment, a figure that feels both substantial and, simultaneously, rather… expected. Send volume surged, as if propelled by some unseen current, a 35% increase, while active customers multiplied by 19%. And then, the pièce de résistance: a swing to profit, a rather satisfying $41 million after a previous loss of a mere $6 million. Such reversals, of course, are the very stuff of market narratives.