And in case you missed it, the Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs that have been trading since January 2024 have just had their best month ever. Yes, you read that right. Ever. As in, better than last month, better than last year, better than anything ever before. Erik has confirmed that July 2025 was a record-breaker for these crypto marvels.
Not only did Solana outclass its layer-1 and layer-2 competitors in revenue (which is a fancy way of saying “money made from transaction fees, or the digital equivalent of collecting parking meters at the blockchain garage”), but it also left Tron choking on dust with a hefty $25.5 million gap. That’s right, Solana raked in $87,026,612, leaving Tron in the metaphorical dust with $61,528,140, because apparently, everyone prefers their dApps and developers to hang out on the coolest blockchain in the galaxy.
Eli Lilly (LLY) has maintained a dividend payout since 1885, underscoring its historical emphasis on returning value to shareholders. While the current yield is modest at less than 1%, this reflects the stock’s robust total return profile, which has exceeded 400% over the past five years. The company’s GLP-1 franchise, anchored by Mounjaro and Zepbound, has redefined its growth trajectory, contributing nearly $13 billion in Q1 revenue—a year-over-year increase of 45%.
Hoskinson’s words, dripping with the weight of a man who has read too many whitepapers and not enough novels, were accompanied by a technical thread from Andrew Westberg, a Cardano developer whose prose is as dense as a Dostoevsky novel. Westberg, with the patience of a saint and the precision of a mathematician, sketched a vision of a privacy-enabled dollar that could satisfy both enterprise and legal requirements without turning public ledgers into the equivalent of a town square gossip session. “The stablecoin is a small but important piece of the discussion in Argentina,” he wrote, as if the fate of the world hinged on a few lines of code. 🧑💻🔍
Once this marvel launches in the coming months (because, naturally, everything in crypto is perpetually “coming soon”), it aims to make trading faster, easier, and more accessible to US investors. Faster? Great. Easier? Sure. More accessible? Absolutely. But will it make Bitcoin less… well, Bitcoin? Let’s dive in. 🕶️
This, of course, occurs amidst the West’s latest infatuation with digital alchemy. The United States, having recently passed three bills (as if Congress were a crypto startup), now courts the digital asset realm with a mix of desperation and bureaucratic glee. One might say the dollar’s dominion is trembling like a leaf in a storm—unless, of course, you’ve invested in stablecoins. 🌪️
Before the grand reveal, Bitcoin, that most capricious of divas, had already made a dramatic recovery from its recent plunge below the $115,000 mark, gracefully pirouetting back into its familiar trading range between $117,000 and $119,000. It seemed to dance along these lines for days, neither rising to new heights nor sinking into despair, much like a lady at a ball waiting for her prince. 💃
This is not merely an investment in a ledger of abstractions. Ethereum, that beleaguered titan of the crypto world, now contends with a host of upstart rivals—leaner, faster, and less encumbered by the weight of its own legacy. Yet it persists in its peculiar habit of self-reinvention. The recent upgrade, a technical marvel of sorts, sent ripples through its price chart, inspiring a 42% surge in three days. One might call it a Hail Mary pass, though Ethereum has a habit of converting such gambles into touchdowns.
Roku, perched on the narrow ledge of the entertainment labyrinth, has shattered expectations by its quiet resurrection—an anomaly in the often indifferent machinery of Wall Street. An earnings per share of $0.07, a seemingly insignificant figure borne out of the shadows, now gleams with the hollow promise of renewal, a 31-cent swing from the previous year’s despair. Revenue, climbing boldly by 15%, is driven primarily by the ascent of its high-margin platform segment—an almost desperate attempt to cling to some semblance of profitability across the crumbling edifice of device sales. The devices, once the crown jewel, now limp behind, their revenue contracting, barely acknowledging the tariffs that enshroud them.
These corporations can actually manage and shift their money around, unlike your average ETF and its passive butter-slathering. Think of them as the overachievers of the crypto world—pump the brakes or hit the accelerator whenever they fancy, pushing Bitcoin’s price up like a cheerleader with a megaphone. 🎉