The numbers, oh the numbers! Revenue, a tempest of 168% growth, net income, a resurrection from the grave of loss. EBITDA, a crescendo of 395%. Yet these figures, so seductive, are but the masks of a masquerade. What lies beneath? A company, trembling on the precipice of its own ambition, trading in the currency of hype, its soul adrift in the void between promise and peril.
Apparently, an Indian court decided 14 people – including Nalin Kotadiya, ex-MLA for the Bharatiya Janata Party (because naturally), and Jagdish Patel, former Amreli superintendent of police (double naturally) – are going to have a very long think about their life choices. Life in prison, to be precise. According to Hindustan Times, they decided kidnapping and illegally detaining two blokes, Shailesh Bhatt and Kishor Paladia, was a perfectly reasonable way to get their hands on some digital currency.
Behold the stock, now trading at $47, a price that whispers of untold riches-or perhaps the hiss of a snake in the grass. The question lingers like a ghost in the machine: can this number, this mere numeral, be coaxed into a sylph-like $100?
First came Korea Zinc, that industrious titan from South Korea, sweeping in with an $85.2 million investment. Quite the endorsement, darling-one might say it was TMC’s first proper coming-out party. Then NOAA, bless their bureaucratic hearts, reconfirmed compliance under U.S. law for TMC’s exploration applications. How thrillingly pedestrian.
Over the past three years, its stock has ascended like a particularly ambitious goblin in a tournament of dragons. A $10,000 investment? That’s now nearly $44,200, assuming you’ve been riding the wave of a company that seems to believe “revenue growth” is a spell that can be cast indefinitely. But as any seasoned wizard knows, even the brightest spells can fizzle when the ingredients are questionable.
Why the sudden surge? Oh, just the small matter of Grayscale’s Cardano ETF application, which has an 87% chance of approval according to Polymarket. October 26, 2025, is the big day, and everyone’s acting like it’s the blockchain equivalent of the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Cardano’s new “Ouroboros Leios” protocol is in public review, which sounds like a fancy way of saying, “We’re still building stuff, folks!” Investors are eating it up like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party. 🍕
Meanwhile, Ethereum, in its own robust way, held its ground at approximately $4,397. Just slightly below its pirouette of $4,493, but don’t let that fool you-there’s a vigor about it that persists like an aspiring poet with dreams of greatness.
A 7% yield is a red flag in a market full of green. Pfizer trades at 8.1 times forward earnings-a number that screams “caution.” Earnings are projected to decline 3% annually through 2029. Peers like Johnson & Johnson (2.9%) and Merck (3.9%) offer lower yields but stronger balance sheets. AbbVie’s 3.1% isn’t bad either. These companies trade stability for greed. Pfizer’s dividend is a gamble that management can outwit patent cliffs and pipeline failures. It’s a bet with no guaranteed payout.
Shiba Inu launched in 2020, long after Dogecoin had claimed its spot as the meme coin monarch. Yet here we are, discussing a token that now commands a $7 billion market cap. It’s the financial equivalent of a second-hand bookstore suddenly becoming a literary sensation-not because it invented the novel, but because it mastered the art of shelf arrangement.
Our dear canine crypto is currently lounging in a limbo-trading within some fancy chart pattern called a symmetrical triangle, which sounds complex but really just means “wait and see.” Short-term indicators are essentially throwing a tantrum and signaling a gentle downward nudge, while the long game remains stubbornly bullish-like waiting for your toast to pop. At this precise, tragically volatile moment, DOGE is tipping the scale at a modest $0.21, down a smidge (3%) this morning and more depressing (6%) for the week, because nothing says “fun” like a price decline.