Yet the true intrigue lies not in the expected applause for accelerating revenues, but in a subplot whispered through Silicon Valley’s gilded corridors: a partnership with Salesforce that marries cybersecurity to artificial intelligence with all the elegance of a Wildean paradox. For what is AI if not the most captivating of modern dandies-brilliant, mercurial, and tragically prone to scandal?
His grand strategy? Put 10% in Bitcoin (“because magic internet money is the future, apparently”), 20% in real estate (“bricks and mortar, the original NFTs”), and 70% in SPY stocks (“or as I like to call them, ‘the grown-up section’ of your portfolio”).
This ‘24HRSCRYPTO’ – an epithet as mysterious as it is elongated – doth suggest that investors, those souls easily swayed by rumour and speculation, know not the true paucity of XRP available for trade. This dearth, combined with the insatiable appetites of certain… *institutions*, threatens a crisis of availability. 🎭
Yet amid the chorus of admirers crooning “$500! $600! $700!”, one Cassius with a ledger instead of a dagger dares whisper: “Beware the Ides of March.” Jay Goldberg, that contrarian soothsayer, prophesies a 40% descent for this Icarus of silicon ambition. Let us examine his three indictments, lest we forget that Fortune’s wheel turns even for the most golden of geese.
August delivered a 39.2% pratfall while the S&P 500 swanned about with a 1.9% gain. September, ever the drama queen, slashed another 16.4% from its value. The result? A 59% nosedive from its second-day peak that would make Icarus himself wince. Yet amidst this carnage, a question lingers: Is Figma now a diamond in the rough, or merely a cubic zirconia?
Fnality, a blockchain startup nestled in the foggy embrace of the U.K., has not merely raised funds but orchestrated a symphony of greed, securing a $136 million Series C round. The usual suspects-Wisdom Tree, Bank of America, Citi, KBC Group, Temasek, and Tradeweb-led the charge, their wallets heavier than their consciences. Lest we forget, the old guard-Banco Santander, Barclays, BNP Paribas, DTCC, Euroclear, Goldman Sachs, ING, Nasdaq Ventures, State Street, and UBS-also joined the feast, their hands outstretched like beggars at a tsar’s table. This capital, a mere drop in the ocean of their excess, will fuel the expansion of Fnality’s global bank tokenized settlement network, a monument to the illusion of progress. 🏗️💰
Let us peer into the abyss together, and see what revelations emerge from the market’s seemingly endless dance of riches. What, I ask, drives men like Warren Buffett, Bill Ackman, and Stanley Druckenmiller to invest not just in companies but, perhaps, in themselves? For their actions transcend mere acquisition. They are staking their claims in the shifting sands of destiny itself.
The current 5.4% dividend yield surpasses the REIT sector average by 150 basis points, with monthly distributions providing cash-flow predictability for retirees. However, sustaining this yield requires disciplined capital allocation amidst compressed net lease spreads. The 663 consecutive monthly dividends since 1994 demonstrate operational resilience, though historical performance offers no guarantees against future economic shocks.
Tokenized assets,-oh yes, the shiny new fad-are sweeping through the halls of high finance faster than gossip in a village. Ripple just announced on Sept. 23 that RLUSD, their shiny stablecoin designed for big guys, will now buddy-up with Securitize’s platform, linking Blackrock’s BUIDL and Vaneck’s VBILL for a sharing economy of shares and stablecoins-because who doesn’t want a piece of the token pie?
Fold has finally debuted its new Bitcoin rewards credit card, because apparently, we’re all secretly crypto billionaires in the making. 🤑 The card runs on the Visa network (fancy!) and is powered by Stripe Issuing (techy!). The best part? No more juggling categories, staking tiers, or deciphering complicated token systems. Just spend money, get Bitcoin. It’s like magic, but with spreadsheets. 📈
