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Chewy’s metamorphosis mirrors the turning of seasons. Once a sapling sprouting toward the sun of expansion, it now stands as a mature oak, its branches heavy with the acorns of recurring revenue. The autoship program-83% of sales, growing like ivy-whispers a promise of constancy in a world addicted to disruption. Its membership plan, Chewy+, flickers like a nascent star, modest now but destined to illuminate the firm’s nocturnal resilience.

Piper Sandler, with the audacity of a court jester wagering on a king’s beheading, set a $630 target. Berenberg, more cautious but no less absurd, settled for $500. Both numbers hover like phantoms above a current price teetering at the same threshold. What madness is this? What sorcery keeps Wall Street’s love affair with Synopsys alive, even as its Design IP segment withers like a rose in a crypt?

Their playbook? Turn speculation into subscription. Imagine paying for the privilege of watching your portfolio gyrate – with a side of zero-fee trades and “enhanced support” for when the blockchain gods grow moody. Their Coinbase One membership, a velvet-rope experience for the crypto-curious, already raked in $656 million last quarter. The magic trick? Making volatility feel like a premium service.

For the average investor, a disciple in the school of Buffett would be wise to heed his words. One of his simpler yet profound recommendations concerns an unassuming Vanguard exchange-traded fund (ETF)-a quiet opportunity that promises to transform modest investments into monumental wealth. Buffett himself suggests that a monthly $1,000 commitment could evolve into a robust $264,000 in just a decade, a quiet testament to the beauty of compounded growth.

Its revenues, a meteoric ascent, surged 625% to $105.1 million in Q2, while its stock, a rocket propelled by speculative fervor, soared 424% annually. Yet such ascents, like the flicker of a candle in a gale, conceal the shadows of their own making.

ASML, a Dutch behemoth, wields a scepter of monopoly over extreme ultraviolet lithography-a technology so arcane that its mastery borders on the divine. With each wafer it etches, it fuels the engines of modern computation, enabling the very chips that power the neural architectures of our age. Its 2024 revenues, a symphony of 28.3 billion euros, echo with the promise of a future where growth is not merely anticipated but ordained. Yet even as it ascends, the shadow of geopolitics looms. The Chinese market, once a fertile field, now yields less, its soil barred by the iron fists of regulation. And yet, ASML persists, a colossus unyielding, its vision fixed on the horizon of 2030, when its revenues may double, a testament to the resilience of those who dare to shape the unseen.

Millennials, born between 1981 and 1996 (yes, I had to look that up), are now in their 30s and early 40s. Reinvesting dividends? Compounding wealth? Sounds lovely. But let’s not kid ourselves-this isn’t a fairy tale. These ETFs are your new best friends, but they’re also the ones who’ll ghost you when the next recession hits. Still, here are three options to “balance” your portfolio, whatever that means. Good luck, love.

Now, what is it that has ignited Ives’ unrestrained enthusiasm for Tesla’s stock? After years of pouring resources into autonomous driving technologies, Tesla has begun testing its robotaxi service in Austin, Texas. Ives himself had the fortune (or misfortune, depending on your perspective) of experiencing this nascent service. To quote him directly: “It was the future.” Well, we certainly hope so, considering the heavy investment in it. What’s more, he believes the autonomous vehicle market-specifically robotaxis-could be worth a tidy $1 trillion. This, he declares, marks the beginning of Tesla’s march toward a $2 trillion market cap within the next 12 to 18 months. Quite the bold proclamation. So, are we all supposed to applaud and rush to buy shares in a company that promises driverless taxis by next year? Perhaps. But let us not forget the fact that we have seen such promises before, many times over.